Sleep Experiment, Part Deux

Confession time. We have a bed of blankets and pillows for Mama and/or Dada in the little guy's room. A HUGE no-no, I know... When we were in that early fog of caring for a newborn, we tried every sleep trick we could think of: swings, bouncy seats, sleeping on one of us. The crib would result in crying howls of protest that did not stop. After listening to hours of it, we would pick the boy up and go back to one of the old methods. I ditched most of the "sleep manuals," as all they ever really did for me was point out that every single thing I tried doing was wrong, sending my sleep-deprived self into an even greater funk.

We stumbled our way into co-sleeping for awhile. With many tears on both our parts I eventually managed to drag Daniel into sleeping in his own room, and in his own crib. The thing that helped him with that was being able to peer out, and see that Mama or Dada were right there as he was drifting off. This has been difficult to break. I think we've sort of looked at it as a trade-off to avoid the nightly sobbing stress-fest. As the pediatrician said to me at one point: Sometimes you just do what you gotta do, so that everyone can get some sleep.

Flash-forward to our recent sleep developments of converting the crib to a toddler bed. It's been rather anti-climactic as, in reality, Daniel hasn't spent very many nights actually in the bed. He thinks that the little nest of blankets on the floor look pretty comfy-cozy for the night. At this rate, I may forgo the bed altogether and pitch a tent. But I can't complain.

He's still in his room.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging...

Ugh. There's never a good time for it really. Computer problems. You never realize what you depend on the machine for, until it ain't there. We seem to be operational again, and so I hope to be back in the swing of things shortly.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

I've been musing (and being amused) by thoughts recently of those things that once you have a kid you start to wonder: How in the world did I learn this? Like, oh, blowing your nose... or spitting the toothpaste out instead of swallowing it when you brush.

The latest in that list came recently when I took the front panel off of Daniel's convertible crib. It's kinda cute - makes it look like a daybed. But - How do you learn how to not roll out of bed? Last night was the first night of the experiment.

Awhile into the evening I heard a tiny thud but no other noise, and so decided to peek at him. He had his front half on the mattress, clutching his blankie of course... and his feet on the floor. I stepped in the room and swung his feet back up - while he stayed sound asleep. Awhile later I decided to peek again. The mattress was completely empty - and Daniel was on the floor across the pillows and blankets I had laid there, perpendicular to the mattress, on his back with one hand absently twirling his hair. Still asleep. How in the world he got there, I have no idea. Did he somersault out of bed? Sleepwalk and think - Hey, this looks like a pretty good spot? If I scoop him back into bed enough times will he just suddenly get the idea? Do I start hunting around for a bed rail?

It was quite amusing, but didn't make for a very restful night's sleep for Mama.

Cough, Round 237

Ugh. It's back. The cough. It's driven H to sleep in the baby's room, driven me to sleepless nights and I've driven myself to the doctor's office to plead for some codeine relief. Nothing works.

And on the nothing works front, we awoke to some veery interesting noises coming from our heating unit this morning. Short answer is that sucker is slowly dying. To the tune of lots of dough, since the builders in the early 80s in their infinite wisdom wedged a large heating system into a tight closet, leaving no room for said units to become obsolete and need to be replaced by bigger/different sized things. Such is the way my Thursday is going. This day can't end soon enough.

Well, if you insist...

Daniel is actually pretty up on the whole idea of "please" and "thank you." And he's even moved into using "you're welcome" without my really trying - just the osmosis of hearing me use it. What cracks me up is when he gets absorbed in something like Curious George, or driving many of his 8,459,876 cars around and we have an exchange that goes something like this:

Daniel: More MILK!

Me: Don't you mean, "More milk please?"

Daniel: OK.

Like the whole milk thing is totally my idea. Toddler psychology. Gotta love it.

Girlfriends

Daniel and a little girl we met at playgroup have taken a shine to one another. It's nice, because her Mom and I have met outside of playgroup now, as well as just coordinated times to visit in the playspace. I like the consistency, and it is fun to hear Daniel pipe up with, "Where's Marisa?" He's still in that stage where he plays around other kids, but I am seeing more and more actual interaction. I found the two kids flopped on pillows in the reading corner and giggling together the other day, and wished I had brought a camera with me.

And we Moms can use it to our devious advantage at times, when it comes to easing transitions from one activity to another: Oh look Daniel, Marisa and her Mom are leaving! Let's go too! (And vice versa.) Someone (usually Marisa, I think) suggests holding hands and Daniel thinks that's OK, so we all grab hold and troop in a conga line out the door to the cars. No fuss, no muss - Yay!

************

I finally caught up with Pamela, one of my bestest girlfriends, the other evening for a dinner out. She and I met at work years ago, and have been friends ever since... A general gabfest over crabcakes and short ribs and followed up by a luscious "peanut butter thing" dessert is good for the soul, don't you think?

An unexpected song

Out of curiosity I sometimes start cruising the shopping websites before upcoming holidays. Biggies like Amazon, smaller spaces like Etsy and lots of things in between. Part of the fun of gift giving for me is finding that perfect something that just reminds me of the person I'm shopping for... like the Star Wars notecards that just absolutely reminded me of Pamela.

And I'm always a little amazed at the "perfect gift lists" that are published, pushing iphones, flat screen TVs, expensive jewelry as the must-haves for those people on your gift list.

Valentine's Day is a low-key affair around our house: nice chocolates, romantic cards, maybe some flowers. It was a wonderful surprise that H gifted me this year with two tickets to see Teddy Goldstein at Club Passim at the end of this month. It has been ages since I have seen some live folk music - and Club Passim, around for more than 40 years, is a wonderful venue. I can't wait!

Sprucing Up The Place

You may have noticed a few changes around here. Don't things look purty?

Awhile back I was having some serious design cravings regarding my blogs: a fresh look, some more space, a third column. The Universe must have decided that yes, I needed a bit of renovation because not long ago I received word that I had won a blog contest - and the prize was a redesign package from RS Designs. The lovely Revka worked her magic in a timely and professional manner, and as a result I have this beautiful new space on the web! Check it out!

Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone...

Cah-ray-zee weather lately around here. I guess it pretty much amounts to "snow squalls." The sky suddenly darkens, huge fat flakes fall to the ground (or sideways if the 40-mile-an-hour winds gust up), thunder, lightning, and over in half an hour. It lasted a bit longer tonight, just in time to complicate a drive home from my mother-in-law's house.

From the "What Were They Thinking?" Files: There is a restaurant on a corner of Main Street in our little town. It used to be a Thai place, but not too long ago changed to Italian. I'm quite sure that running a restaurant is not an easy business, so I've got to hand it to anyone who tries. But they've been putting a mannequin out front, dressed in a chef's outfit, with a big "Welcome" sign between his hands. I wish I could figure out a way to drop an anonymous suggestion that it's just, well, creepy.

Roller Coaster

I have been incommunicado for a bit, basking in some family love and vibes via a visit from Mom and Dad from Wisconsin. We've simply been spending time, having dinners, playing ball across the kitchen table and enjoying the time together. It's a little thrill for me that despite the gaps between visits, Daniel is screechingly overjoyed to see his Grandma and Grandpa. When I told him the night before that we were going to have to drive to the airport to pick them up, he said, "Sounds FUN!" And then asked, "Andy too?" So I know he thinks of his Uncle Andy as well.

I am OK with living as far apart as we do about 95% of the time. Departures are hard, but the zipping through the airport to drop them off left little time to feel down about it. I started catching up on some bloggy stuff yesterday afternoon to discover that I won a blog contest hosted by Elizabeth at Table for Five. That was a nice little surprise to start my week!

The intention was to hop over to a local church playgroup with Daniel this morning for a little R&R. We have been butting heads most of the morning. On every. Single. Thing. It's making me a bit crazy. When I can step back, I recognize that he is probably missing the Grandparents, and can't necessarily express it. And of course there is just that toddler/preschooler testing the limits phase. The trip to the grocery store got jettisoned for all the screaming on the outside landing. When he flung his coat off, and then flung himself to the ground as well it was two choices: coat on and store and be calm, or back inside for a nap. Back inside we went. It is hard when they can scream long enough and loud enough that they can reduce you to tears. I keep saying that this determination and focus will be great traits once he's 18 and headed off to college, but as a two year old he's really able to dance on Mama's last shreds of patience.

To Sleep - Or...?

We were woken from a sound sleep this morning by a sharp cry of Ma-MA! from the next bedroom. It was 6am, and Daniel was rarin' to go.

What the heck???

I've been enjoying being relatively free of sleep disturbances. Sure, there's the usual toddler stalling and complaining about bedtime. And he sometimes takes his time actually falling asleep. But once he's out, we've usually blissfully counted the dreamland hours 'til morning. Some days I wouldn't hear from him until 7:30, 8:00 even 9:00am. Where in the world did this come from?

Getting up so early means that by the time the afternoon nap rolls around, he's pretty tired. If we skip the nap, he crashes at suppertime which makes bedtime a real bear.

Any thoughts on adjusting the sleep habits of a 2.5 year old would be much appreciated. My pillow thanks you in advance.

NASCAR - Toddler Style

Uncle Andy gifted us with a set of NASCAR cars this past Christmas. Matchbox-sized, they are plastered with all sorts of advertising, just like the real thing. As well as the usual driving them around the house and carrying them everywhere, Daniel has turned them into an amazing memory game of sorts.

In the month-plus since Christmas, Daniel has handed me a car and said "cheese." When I looked down, I saw that it was the car with KRAFT emblazoned on its' tiny hood. The car with the AOL advertising has become the " 'puter car." And he was getting supremely mad/frustrated with me the other day when he wanted his "Em Car!" and I couldn't find it. In a "Mommy light bulb moment" I suddenly realized he was talking about the M&Ms car that he had been carrying around all the previous day. He has also handed me the same car and said "chocolate." After I was done getting knocked off my feet at each of these incidents, I reasoned that while we were unwrapping presents at Christmas I think I was explaining what each of the little cars had written on them. And he remembered.

I had better be pretty careful to mean it the next time I promise him cookies or something.

Malaise

I've been catching glimpses of myself in the mirror lately and noticing the little wrinkle between my eyebrows. No, I'm not contemplating botox - it's just indicative of my recent mood.

Is it the cold? We aren't in the negative double-digits that my parents woke up to the other day. It still makes me want to hibernate, however. Creeping PMS? Sigh, gotta love being a girl sometimes...

Starting to wonder if I need to place a moratorium on how much news I watch / read for a bit. I certainly want to stay informed, but lately it seems as though the airwaves are full of dead children, thrown from bridges or overpasses, walked into traffic. I'm not much of one for the cult of celebrity, but like so many I was shocked to hear of the death of actor Heath Ledger... only 28 years old. I think I will always think of him as the honor-bound son clashing with his father (Mel Gibson) about going to war in The Patriot. And I can't help but think of his two-year-old daughter Matilda, just a bit younger than my Daniel, who will now grow up without her father.

This too, shall pass. It is still cold today, but the sunshine helps. H took the kiddo outside yesterday for a run-around, and he got cold enough that I hope it will convince him to try the boots (and mittens, and hat...). And off I go to jump into my day...

Pick Your Battles

I know they say that picking your battles is the best strategy where it pertains to the Toddler Battle of the Wills. Running for the street? Sorta non-negotiable no-no. Wear the "digger shirt" for how many days in a row? Well, not as big a deal, I suppose...

It gets more complicated as the temperature drops, however. Daniel flat-out refuses to wear boots. Snow and slush are making life interesting at the moment. Mittens - nope. Hat, once in a great while. I cheat and get a sweatshirt with a hood on him occasionally. Turn my back and I sometimes find him trying to get the coat off as well. It doesn't seem to matter what the temperature is. And indoors, all foot-gear must be off, even if the bare toes are little ice cubes... Any ideas? This kid may not see the light of day until Spring!

Liftoff, we have Liftoff!

Houston - we have a problem.

We've kept our baby monitor, even though the boy is almost 2 1/2 years old. I like that I can hear pretty clearly that he is starting to stir in the mornings, and it lets me sneak in a shower before he's fully awake. Today, as I was starting to dry off I suddenly heard frantic crying and the baby pushed through the bedroom door to greet me.

Oops. Guess we've figured out how to get out of the crib! He was fine, as he was soon jumping on our bed, but now I'm left asking myself what to do... Did this shake him enough that he's not going to give it a try for awhile? Or is he going to try flipping over the rail at the first opportunity? Do we convert to the toddler bed finally? I admit - we've been holding on to the ability to "corral" him a little bit at night. And H just pointed out a problem - this kid sleeps in about a hundred positions a night. Sometimes I can hear him rolling up against or kicking the crib sides in his sleep. Once we convert the crib, what's to keep him from rolling right out? Ah me... Do bed rails fit on toddler beds? Off to investigate...

Not again...

I'm doing laps in Toddler Rerun Purgatory... Daniel discovered Cars this past Christmas. He got the DVD, some books, some of the little cars to push around, etc. It's actually a very cute, well-done movie. But I have officially lost track of how many times we have now watched it.

And the cold that Never Officially Went Away is resurfacing. I was up from about 3am this morning: coughing, coughing, coughing...

Mix this liberally with a toddler who has yet to figure out how to blow his nose (and said stuffy nose is driving him in-sane!) and I'm starting to fray a little bit at the edges. I'm glad that the stuffy nose is all he seems to be sick with, but help!!

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Thankful Thursday

I am not a winter person. As a kid, I did and loved it all: ice skating, sledding, cross-country skiing... Now I can tolerate the snow up until Christmas. I loves me a White Christmas. After that, as far as I am concerned it can all go away. Not a cold-weather person, no-sirree!

I am thankful for the January thaw we've been experiencing here in New England. Isn't it amazing the shift in perspective? When it has been bitterly cold, and is suddenly in the 50s it's hard to resist running around in light jackets, coats unzipped, etc. In the summer, when we've all been melting, if the temperature suddenly hit where we've been lately I would be quaking and protesting: I'm cold! I wish there were an easy way to regulate one's internal thermostat. If anyone has a recommendation, please pass it along!

As Daniel still protests items like hats, boots, mittens - it has been a welcome respite there as well. I'm also enjoying the sunshine tremendously. We've been known to get whomped with snow as late as April, so I'm determined to get it while it lasts!

The Cupcake Conspiracy

I am becoming convinced that H must have whispered in the ear of both my Mom and one of my bestest buds. Not only did I get for Christmas The Cupcake Deck - a set of 25 cards with mouth watering photos, and luscious cupcake recipes - but also a silicone muffin tin and a set of silicone baking cups.

My waistline may be protesting, but I'm relishing the thought of baking again. And I'm sure that Daniel will love the funky sprinkles (stars, moons, dolphins...) that Pamela included too.

Wordsmith

Daniel notices increasingly complex things, and strings together more and more complete sentences lately. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it boggles my mind when I think of this precious little kid who used to just sit and eat (and let's be honest, pee and poop) and giggle while I whiled away the hours playing peek-a-boo with him.

Now I walk into his bedroom in the morning, and I get: Where's Dada? And upon first inspection of his new sneakers: These have lights? (No - couldn't find the light-up Cars sneakers - like his old ones - anywhere, dang-it!). We also had our first argument over lunch. Where before the question was just: Will he or won't he eat it? Yesterday he tried requesting cookies for lunch and was pretty upset when they weren't forthcoming. It's kinda fun to feel these explanations and responses more recognizably flowing between us... and he's finally sitting a (teensy) bit longer where reading books are concerned.

For us grownups, I'm always amused when lists come out like the list of banned words and phrases from Lake Superior State University. And on the addictive games front: Free Rice. A vocabulary game, for each word you get right 20 grains of rice are donated through the United Nations to help end world hunger. Give it a try!

Happy New Year!

"I discovered I always have choices, and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude."
— Judith M. Knowlton, U.S. author

I have never been much of a person for New Year's Resolutions. Items would tend to be too vague, and thus too hard to follow... or so specific and binding that I would beat myself up as soon as I "broke" them. Pondering this, I decided that if I could work on one thing this year, I would like for it to be cultivating and appreciating and living the attitude of gratitude in my life.

The "hows" of this are probably yet to come. But for a habitual worrier like myself, a shift in focus can shine a new glow on 2008. I have much to be grateful for... How about you? Come glow with me in the new year!

I have created a monster

... and he's pint-sized, with longish blond hair, adorable baby blues and he won't give up his sweats.

When he was even more pint-sized, all Daniel's pants came in those "break-aways" with the convenient snaps for undressing and diaper-changing. As he got bigger, and more mobile I discovered sweatpants. I mean, hey - they come in a rainbow of colors, so they go with just about everything! And they pop on and off in about two seconds when you have to tackle the kid and pin him to the floor to change any clothes.

Now if I try and put him in any "regular" clothes - jeans, cords - we are firmly in Tantrum City. Help!

On the other hand. It's possible I'm just a teensy bit jealous.

Hubbub-bub

The days of Christmas around here have been sort of a merry melee. Daniel and I were blessed with a cold each (a re-blessing for me, harumph). H worked Christmas eve - day, and then that evening we traveled out to his mother's house to spend some time with her, an auntie, a cousin and another uncle. A crank on his home turf, the change of scenery did Daniel some good. He bopped around the house looking for the trucks that his uncle keeps stashed away for just such an occasion.

We tried to gift H with the opportunity to sleep in on Christmas morn, as the sleeping in thing doesn't happen much these days. Daniel still hasn't quite copped to this whole presents / celebration thing... his reactions were pretty funny at times. What? More presents? For me? Cool!!! I hope H enjoyed the sleeping-in thing because I thoroughly anticipate that Daniel will be into the pre-Christmas buildup next year and that probably won't be happening again!

Another trip to the mother-in-law's house on Christmas Day resulted in a nice meal, twice as many people in her little house, and yep, more presents! (We have doubled our car collection, including a ride-on dump truck, among many other nice things.)

I got a big giggle out of Daniel sitting side-by-side with his three year old cousin Nicholas in their Gram's rocker watching Shrek the Third. Nicholas spilled some water, and his auntie popped off his shirt to haul it off to the dryer. Daniel thought that looked pretty cool, so despite being pretty dry he insisted that his shirt had to come off as well. Two blond shirtless monkeys giggling and watching movies was a cute picture indeed.

We're in cold recovery, and trying to keep H well. And trying to get back on a schedule again.

Reporting in, and wishing you all a Merry Christmas.

Random winter thought of the day...

What in the world is on someone's roof - or coating it - to leave almost the entire building with rusty icicles hanging from the gutters? I suppose to a certain extent it's logical that this could happen, but why don't I recall seeing more of this?

Rolling that stone

I feel like I have started about 18 different posts lately - with none of them landing on the "publish post" side of the coin. Life has just been kicking our respective behinds around here, and it's really starting to bug me. I usually have a much more relaxed season than this has been.

Tooth pain for weeks, a root canal, and car repairs for H. All while working his patootie off out in the cold.

For me: the cough without end, especially while having an MRI done on my liver where the tech is imploring me to hold my breath. The liver problem turned out benign, but the doc herself called me rather than one of the girls in the office to ask: Was I still having gallbladder symptoms? Because the MRI showed my bile duct as bigger than normal, and even absent the gallbladder there could be some debris in there which might require a procedure to remove.

Can we please stop finding things wrong with me any time now?

And I spent most of the day yesterday with my heart in my throat after Daniel took a skate in his socks across some linoleum at the favorite playspace and whacked the back of his head a good one. He was so stunned, he didn't even cry. And it is very unusual for him to clutch at me that way when I scoop him up... I think my heart rate has finally returned to normal as of Saturday morning.

Looking forward to a calm, stress-free Christmas.

Winter Denial

For someone who has lived in Michigan, frequented the wilds of Wisconsin and now resides in New England I had a healthy dose of winter denial going up until recently. The SAHM gig pretty much allowed me to miss the extended commute/gridlock many folks in this area suffered a few days ago.

Staying indoors with a 2+ year old has led to me contemplating removing every stick of furniture from his room and replacing them with one of these, however. He could sleep on one of these, couldn't he?

Do they make kiddie treadmills? (Holy cow! They do!)

Add to this - Mama dragging her heels about buying the little guy boots for the season. Last time he grew out of the darn things before we had any sort of weather! The shelves were bare at Target yesterday, and we got hit with at least 6 inches of the white stuff today. On the to-do list: 1) Find a new spot to buy boots. 2) Figure out how to velcro the mittens so that they actual stay ON his hands for more than 0.2 seconds, so that 3) we can spend some time outdoors to burn off the daily ENERGIZER TODDLER energy buildup that happens around here.

Soundtrack

E and I are longtime friends. We've known each other since high school, and through tons of moving around and "life events." She encouraged me to move to New England when I was unhappy on the West Coast, and conversely now that I am pretty firmly rooted here she is now on that other coast herself.

One of the many things E introduced me to while we were roomies is the live music/folk music scene in this area. There are fantastic small venues where one can go to hear - really hear - some wonderful performers. You can check out my sidebar for a collection of favorites. I also wanted to take this opportunity to share a video from Anne Heaton and Rose Polenzani. Beautiful voices - and how can you beat a pink ukulele?

*Cough*

Ugh. It's back. Getting a cough is like welcoming in an entity with a life of it's own, wrapping tentacles around me and refusing to let go.

I was a preemie, and my Mom has always said that my lungs must be my weak point. I have some pretty strong memories of her staying up with me while I coughed and hacked through the night. There were homemade cough concoctions/remedies often involving honey, and sometimes brandy. There was at least one episode of pneumonia when I was younger.

I have vivid and occasionally embarrassing memories of having to leave college classrooms because of the disruption my cough was making, and also of having to wave away at least one well-meaning onlooker who wondered if I needed the Heimlich maneuver or something.

Not to mention that after days/weeks of doing this, it just starts to hurt.

Have I mentioned that cough medicine doesn't do diddly-squat for me?

I had a bout of this during my second trimester and that was rough. You're pretty much allowed to take Robitussin, which might as well be sugar-water for me.

The funny thing is. When I get a cough now, Daniel can sleep right through it. It must have been all that coughing he heard in utero...

DefCon 1

Otherwise known as: Towering Temper Tantrums Batman! What happened to my sweet kid and how do I get him back/where's the reset button???

Actually I feel a little guilty typing this as he has been pretty calm today, and it has been a snow day to boot. In the past when there were squabbles about something-or-other it was always sort of: Ha, ha - how cute. How about this instead? And he would be distracted by whatever new thing you just handed him and move on.

In the past week this has turned into objections to many of the things he usually eats, emphatic objections to the new shoes Mama bought even though they are simply a larger version of a previous make/model, and a tantrum over the toy swap at our favorite playspace. The toy swap tantrum resulted in my dragging him back outside to scream rather than disrupting the playspace before he was allowed back in.

Oh, and one evening was spent coloring while screaming quite loudly: MY Cray-ons! Which I might have understood if I had been trying to do some dastardly deed like take them away. But I wasn't...

It was a little gratifying to hear from my friend Pamela that her youngest, roughly six months older than Daniel, has been doing the same thing... and that the oldest had a similar stage. I was starting to wonder if it was me!

Daniel's laser-focus on what he wants is a quality that I am going to think is pretty wonderful - when he's 18 and off to college.

When good relationships go bad...

It is nice to develop a "relationship" with the collection of doctors, dentists, etc. who touch your life. Even if it is somewhat illusory - as a professional, they probably see tons of patients - you are still part of those tons. And you get to see the same face, when you are often ill, in pain, or at some sort of vulnerable point.

What do you do when those relationships aren't quite going the way you'd hoped? If it is near the beginning, like when I was interviewing an OB for example, it can be pretty easy to just say Yeesh, no way and move on. But what if it's further along in the process? I've documented a bit of my battle with my gastroenterologist. I'm still more than a little peeved that it took a year and a half of my life (and nearly all of Daniel's) to diagnose and treat gallstones. Yet more testing is to follow to confirm whatever they think is going on with my liver. I'm being told it's benign, but we're still looking...

H has been going through his own version of this lately with a toothache. Our whole family followed our dentist to his own practice. Awhile back, my sister-in-law had a bunch of work done and suddenly came down with tooth pain of undetermined origin. It lasted a month, and eventually faded. H has had several appointments recently. First diagnosis: gum inflammation. Second appointment resulted in a prescription for antibiotics, and a potential upcoming root canal.

It's miserable. As anyone who has had serious tooth pain will tell you, it colors everything that you do. At what point do you say Enough. This isn't working. And move on?

Stop the Insanity!

We watch TV at our house. Courtesy of the local library, Uncle B and a variety of sources we have seen a spike in available DVDs. The toddler prince of the DmF household has suddenly sparked to the idea that Hey! These sparkly disc-things give me control over what's on the TV!

Mama is trying to figure out how to not have to watch the trash truck video for the eight bajillionth time.

When my family arrived for Thanksgiving, TV football arrived with them. After about the third day, Daniel was getting antsy at having no TV control. When he was finally told that we could put one of his shows in he very purposefully walked around the kitchen table to tell Uncle A - No. As in: It's not your turn anymore buddy! We all roared. I've said it before. The kid knows what he wants.

It's a good thing...

Back from a mini-blogging break... This was the very first time I cooked for Thanksgiving. I'm thankful my turkey went off without a hitch! And also thankful for a Mom and Dad and brother who made the trek out to New England from the wilds of Wisconsin and Michigan to help make this a fun time for H and Daniel and I.

There was lots of eating, lots of football on the television... as an experiment I tried these thin mints from a Kraft recipe. Very yummy! Daniel was in heaven with all the attention and company... and the case of 30-year-old matchbox cars that his uncle brought with him.

I feel the miles between my family and I rather keenly at moments like these. But I am so thankful for visits like this just the same. Wishing you all a belated Happy Thanksgiving, and a glorious start to the Christmas Season!

Toddler Whiplash is Brutal

I occasionally have to remind myself that this little person I am parenting is just that - a little person, who is perfectly capable of getting up on the wrong side of the bed some mornings.

We had a nice visit to the favorite playspace on Thursday morning. Daniel had a chance to tear around the place and I got a chance to chat with a Mom I am getting to know. We were both trying to maneuver our kids into leaving around the same time when Daniel suddenly popped up with, "Marissa hold hand! Marissa hold hand!" She thought that idea was pretty cool, and since Daniel had his Mama's hand, she had to have her Mama's hand as well. All linked up the four of us trooped to our respective cars, which was pretty cute.

Flash forward to Friday morning, and we met up with Marissa and her Mom at the local library and Daniel was in a bit of an, um, mood. Not with Marissa, he thought playing with her was great. If he lost her in the crowd of kids in the library on this cold November day he would wind up twisting this way and that saying, "Mrissa? Mrissa?" The mood was reserved for anytime Mama wanted to corral him a bit, or even just a general sit-on-the-floor-for-a-few-sobs or angry kicks. I'm not sure if it was over-stimulation due to the volume of kids around? And he and Marissa chasing each other giggling around the stacks in the young-adult section seemed to be a favorite activity. Maybe we should have tried to find a baby gym instead... and now I'm actually wondering if I should show my face around the library anytime soon...

Ah, toddler mood-swings. From everything I've read, it's just all about being a two-year old. Even the part about reserving the temper for Mama. I guess they do it, just because they can. They know that Mama isn't going to go away. It doesn't make it any easier on my patience, though.

The best laid plans... and all that

I've been craving some "get together with friends" time lately. With kids, without kids, it almost doesn't matter. It feels like a need to be sure and use these "nice" days to their fullest extent before the weather forces us all indoors on a more permanent basis. I guess I tend to hibernate during the winter months.

It just hasn't been happening, which is frustrating. My sister-in-law with the 3 year old, the closest cousin to Daniel's age, and I have been trying to get together for weeks. A busted water heater, various work schedules, and a dead car have thrown themselves across our respective paths. Pamela and I have been been dealing with similar items - that dratted water heater, a cracked car windshield, braces, various illnesses, work commitments, family commitments.... Despite all this, I signed us (I thought) up for the November 12th showing of Battlestar Galactica Razor at a local theater.

Turns out the organizers, in their infinite wisdom had deemed it one signup per email address. A fact which had escaped me. Especially as I was busy trying to track down a confirmation email that I never received. I mean really. It occasionally happens, but how many people go to the movies solo? It should have been two "tickets" per signup... My inner Type A/Event Organizer was rebelling at how this whole thing was put together. Especially against all the gaming commercials at the beginning of each reel of the movie. At one point I was wondering if the projectionist had pushed the wrong button, and we were back at the beginning, but I digress...

Pamela, still not feeling well, excused herself insisting that I stay to watch the show. So again... no get together with a good friend who I haven't seen in awhile. Sigh.

On the plus side: for Battlestar Galactica fans out there, I can recommend the movie premiering on the SciFi Channel on November 24th. They have done an excellent job weaving the backstory of the Pegasus through with events and characters that we already know. There is solid acting by all involved, gripping action scenes, and I am always impressed when writers pay such attention to detail.

I, in the meantime, will be back to trying to connect face to face with the friends in my life.

Balance

Our favorite family playspace has a wonderful selection of playgroups, parent classes and parent/child activities. They run in 8 week sessions, break for just some "drop in" time and start the next 8 week session.

Demand can be high for some activities, so they usually ask that you rotate out. This usually puts me in a bit of a quandary, as Daniel's favorite is just to jump into a playgroup. The playgroups are loosely structured - they usually plan some sort of craft or sensory activity (boy did he love digging in the rice and beans!), but kids are free to do whatever they like in the play area.

Alternatively there are more structured classes involving music or motion, or kids in the kitchen, or art. We tried a motion class, and Daniel was the kid "ping-ponging" around the room pretty much ignoring any directions and doing what he felt like. I'm torn about what to try next... While I think it's good for him to be exposed to classes with more structure, I would catch him looking longingly at the door to the playspace while we were in the other class. I cherish that independent spirit in my little boy who knows what he wants.

Larks, Owls, and Toddlers with Messy Schedules... Oh My!

Years ago I was a night owl. I dropped naps at the first possible opportunity, stayed up to all hours (often for the express purpose of reading in bed at night) and yet got up for school the next day. I just seemed to need very little sleep. What I wouldn't give for that "Superpower" back!

Somewhere along the line I turned into a lark. Even before having Daniel, I started peeling myself out of bed earlier to beat the morning traffic in to work. The habit continued and my mornings are now a bit of quiet time before having to chase a toddler around.

H has a different conundrum. He is, and will probably always be a night owl. Unfortunately his job dictates otherwise as it is necessary to get up pretty early. This results in surviving on not enough sleep, and the two of us "passing in the night." I'm still not sure of a solution...

The first few years of his life Daniel hardly noticed the Daylight Savings Time changes. This past Sunday threw him off a bit, however. We were up earlier, crankier sooner before his nap... And the drive home from his Gram's house at 5:15pm in the pitch dark really had him wondering. He sat in his car seat and kept calling from the back for "Blankie? Blankie!"

I think things have finally smoothed over...

The Calm before The Storm

A great big thank you to the person who parked next to me at CVS yesterday - darn near diagonally in their parking space - thereby encouraging some interesting acrobatics to get my two year old back into his car seat.

During this feat of gymnastics I happened to note the presence of at least one kid's car seat in said car... I can only hope that the van belonged to the woman in the store who was busily pushing the double stroller through the too-small aisles. She looked like she had her hands full, and that's the only way I can mentally cut her some slack at this point...

We are water-heater operational again, and I am composing my complaint letter to Sears next. More on that as I have more news to tell... The jury/trial that H landed on is still going on, much to our dismay as this is getting pretty inconvenient. Flu shots today for baby and I - H is next. Otherwise we are just hunkering down to outlast the remnants of Storm Noel.

Snot (a) Post

I haven't been able to pinpoint exactly when it happened, but Daniel has become aware of when his nose is full. This elicits much sympathy from Mama when he has a cold and is just feeling generally miserable.

Not so much when it is tantrum time and he proceeds to scream and cry himself snotty. He stops. He gets an odd look on his face, and swipes at it in a pique of fury yelling nose, Nose, NOSE!!!

Any tips on teaching a two year old how to blow his nose?

He also charmed the pants off me yesterday when during a diaper change he proceeded to start naming off body parts - not his own, but mine. Pats my arm - Mama arm. Reaches up - Mama eye. Makes hand motions until I lean closer, then pats my forehead - Mama bangs.

I almost fell over howling with laughter. Maybe it comes from us being all talk and no action about cutting his hair? We're always saying, Come here honey. Just let me cut your bangs a little bit...

Seven Years Ago...

I married my quiet man...

Relationships up to the point H and I had met had been sort of soul-crunchers, and I had been staying far, far away since my move to Boston. Rationalizations popped up, of course. I was busy, I was adjusting to my new life on the East Coast, new friends, a small bit of schooling, new job(s)... H stepped into this busy quagmire one January.

We met on a blisteringly cold evening for drinks at The Top of the Hub, and talked into the night. Rather than face a train ride home on the T, I let him drive me home. Smiles, much talk, a Hey, we should do this again... and quietly, almost imperceptibly our lives started to entwine.

He asked for my hand while we walked, or offered me his arm. Often. Books, movies, any old topic of conversation. I introduced him to local live music like Jim's Big Ego, and he picked me up at 4am one morning so that we could drive to Lexington for the Patriot's Day festivities that begin at dawn. We shared our love of travel and history and old New England cemeteries. And one cold December evening he took me on a carriage ride and proposed... It was the same year that we lost my Grandfather to a brain tumor, and we both flew to Wisconsin to share our news and attend the funeral. It was the makings of a bittersweet weekend.

Planning was a whirlwind, as we had a little less than a year. It was a wonderful celebration with 100 friends and family, packed into an old New England church's pew boxes and an old New England home for food and dancing. I panicked only when I discovered that "Our Sunday" coincided with the Fall daylight savings time that year. (Although, I suppose that would have meant people would be an hour early, not an hour late...). We still laugh that facing each other at the front of the church, we each grabbed the wrong hand when it came time for the rings...

It is seven years (and one child) later. I love taking his hand, spooning into his back at night... I am barely awake many mornings when he leaves before first light. It is a safe cocoon when he settles the comforter more securely over me before he leaves.

Seven years of a quiet whirlwind that blew into my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Happy Anniversary H!

Deluge

Water heater busted yesterday, which equals water all over the garage, hallway to the garage, and seepage into the neighbor's garage.

First contractor - HUGELY expensive. Second contractor - NEVER calls back. Purchase new heater from big-name store - ROYAL runaround about getting out here to install the @!&$*^ thing.

Say hello to Mom with the proverbial steam coming out of her ears, which yes, is the only hot water you will find around this place.

Oh, and H went for jury duty today and yep, they picked him. Out until at least Tuesday. Hope he wasn't looking for a hot shower to go to court.

Smartie-Pants

Just a few odds and ends... It is supposed to hit 80 degrees today. Eighty! It's October 22nd! I can handle this kind of Fall.

Sense memories... of all kinds. Think of the name you can't stand, and suddenly remember that a kid with that name bullied you in grade school. I look back at yearbooks now and realize that that imposing figure was a third-grader. A black and white photograph that H took when we visited Quebec years ago - the starkness of it reminding me that we were freezing our hineys off. I think it was the weekend of Canadian Thanksgiving, and it was cold! The smell of burning wood takes me to 4th of July bonfires in our backyards in Michigan. Ditto for the sugary scent of marshmallows, ripe for the toasting.

Anytime I pass by The Food Network and happen upon the program Unwrapped, I always get sucked in... there is something fascinating about the behind the scenes of how things get made. A recent episode dealt with some Halloween candy, and I loved learning about Smarties. Smarties remind me of my Grandma B. She always had them in her purse. Probably great for keeping kids like me quiet in church, as I would sit and eat one tiny little sugary bit at a time.

What items/experiences send you down memory lane?

Daniel-ism

My + banana = MyNana!

It is sometimes amazing to me that this kid was being targeted by his pediatrician at his 18-month appointment as a possible candidate for needing some "Early Intervention." I worried. I even made an appointment, and like flipping a switch he suddenly decided that it was time to talk and he hasn't stopped since.

He's been explaining his favorite programs to me, and chattered his way all around the farm today with his father and I. Pigs! Horseys! Chickens! and most especially Tractor!

A favorite topic of conversation ever since the jaunt to The House of Chuck E. has been the doggie with the guitar that was up on stage with the band. Our local playgroup recently held a toy/clothing swap and Daniel glommed onto a toy guitar that spouts rockabilly music when you hit the keys on the neck in place of strings. There was no way I was getting out of there without that guitar. The mouse fallout continues...

So that explains it...

Connoisseur of chocolate, chocoholic, choco-maniac take your pick and that's me. In the same way that I used to wrinkle my nose with distaste and accuse my Mother of hiding celery in dinner recipes the reverse is true if I think chocolate is in the house. I'm a veritable bloodhound for that last piece of Halloween candy, or the bag of chocolate chips hiding in the back of the pantry if there's a pinch. The local ice cream shop during my college years at MSU was a place called Melting Moments, and I was in heaven with a scoop of their "turbo chocolate."

If there's a selection on hand, H and I are perfectly matched as I will nab the dark chocolate every time and toss him the Hershey's... No selection on hand, doesn't mean I'm picky! I'm sure I don't need to go into what a certain time of the month does to my chocolate consumption either.

I was intrigued to read this article about a scientific study where they think they have linked a craving for chocolate to the type of bacteria living in a person's digestive tract. I was also amused to read:

In fact, the study was delayed because it took a year for the researchers to find 11 men who don't eat chocolate.

I wonder if they looked for any women to participate in this study??

Ack! There's a Mouse in My House!

We were invited to our first Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. Daniel was over the moon yesterday! I had recollections of ol' Chuck from when I was a kid, but hadn't considered him for the two-year-old crowd. Boy was I wrong.

There were video games that were more suited to the older kids, but there was also a climbing structure and arcade games of all kinds. Daniel was drawn to the barnyard ones that had eggs rolling down a chute, and if you dumped the bucket just right you scored points. Another had ping pong ball "bees" that you caught in a net and dumped into the honeypot and you earned points for how many... all of these arcade games earned you tickets that could be cashed in for prizes at the end. There were kiddie rides of every stripe, Bob the Builder and the Teletubbies among others. I almost didn't need the pocketful of tokens because by the time I started something up Daniel was noticing some other ride or doo-dad and he was off and running again.

The tables for pizza and cake sat near the stage that had an animatronic Chuck and his cohorts up there playing instruments and singing. This fascinated Daniel to no end, and even when I dragged him out of there he was chattering about "Doggie guitar" and "Song!"

The festivities ran through nap time though, which led to an overtired and somewhat cranky toddler. He was struggling to keep his eyes open and pretty much zonked on his father's shoulder in time for bed. By that time I was wishing for open space on the other shoulder as it was a day of Mama running to keep up.

As we were getting ready to go out this morning, I had to convince Daniel that no, we weren't going to see Chuck E. today... Uh oh.

Mommy Biology

I was commenting to someone just the other day that if I were in charge of little things like oh, say human biology, I would give mothers a little bonus. We all know the changes that come with pregnancy, the whacko hormones and so forth. I think Moms should be gifted with an extra set of adrenal glands that kick into action once the kid arrives. This ensures that we can actually keep up with the little buggers. And I only have one!

It no longer surprises me when there are rather long stretches of time between hearing from my friend Kim. She has five.

Festival O' Fun

Both of my sister-in-laws sing with bands, and this afternoon one of them was playing at a local festival. You know the type: blow up bouncers and slides for the kiddos, a couple of carts with hot dogs and hamburgers, fried dough and ice cream. Earlier in the day there were a lot of vendors selling crafts and other things. The evening was pretty much devoted to the music, and later some fireworks.

I was amazed. I think it was one of the first times that we have gotten Daniel in front of live music like that. We all know he loves his country music videos, but to see him get down and boogie to the live music was fun. He and his cousin Nicholas chased each other around in front of the band, squealing and laughing and joined by other random kids from time to time.

Daniel did have one casualty of the evening. I took my eyes off him for two seconds, and a bigger kid not watching where he was going pretty much flattened him/knocked him off his feet. The Mom swooped in right away, but instead of even offering up an, "I'm sorry" she just scooped up her kid and exited. It makes me a bit angry. I know it wasn't intentional, but my kid had the breath knocked out of him - it took him a minute to gather up enough air to even start screaming - and he now looks like he has a bit of road rash down one side of his face.

We got everything calmed down, and Daniel went back to the music. I would occasionally try to stop him and get him to drink some water... I even tried to steer him over toward the kiddie bouncers at one point thinking he might need a break. This just earned me a wail of, "Dancing!"

I finally made a decision to head for home, and was preparing for a fight to get to the car. When I paused because a song I liked had just started, Daniel looked at me and said, "Go Home!" He's nothing if not a kid who knows what he wants.

Laundry Misdeeds

Holy cow did today start with a misstep... We have a blankie in the house. I've been fortunate that Daniel doesn't seem to cart it everywhere - it's made thousands of miles of trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house, and even to the doctor's office a few times when I thought comfort might be exceptionally needed. But usually it is just a fixture in the house: a good cuddler on the couch, and a must at bedtime. Needless to say, blankie gets a tad, um, ripe at times. The best plan of attack is to launch it straight into the laundry as soon as he gets up. Then I am pretty much guaranteed to have the thing dry by nap time.

Little did I know. I executed Plan B: Wash Blankie when Daniel's second favorite morning show came on the air. Super Why is a new PBS show that is also very letters and reading oriented, and Daniel is fascinated with it at the moment. The show began, and durn it all he started hunting for the blankie. It was a slippery slope after that... nothing I could do was quite right. (I'll cry 'til you pick me up. No, wait, pick me up and I'll cry harder!)

I finally cut the tumble dry short, yanked blankie from the dryer, and handed it to him slightly damp. And lo, peace did reign on the house of Dirt Makes Fat. For the moment...

Personality Plus

Maybe it's because of the stay at home mom gig, but sometimes I am totally knocked sideways by the changes in my little guy. I am so close every day that they sort of sneak up on me. You take this tiny baby home from the hospital, and just love them to bits but let's face it. As one of my friends said to me: It's pretty much eat, sleep, diaper, repeat.

There is the first smile, first word, first steps... and somewhere along the line this whole personality pops out and this realization hits of a "real boy" in there. I had Daniel out and about in the car and running errands with me a few days ago. My head was down in the front seat as I rummaged around in my bag looking for something. I heard a giggle and looked in the back to discover Daniel wearing the Country Weekly music magazine he had been paging through previously as a hat. I could just tell by the sly grin that he must've been doing that for a little bit, and finally giggled to get my attention (and because he couldn't hold it in any longer.) The grin got even wider as I nearly fell over in my seat from laughter...

This is a kid who was so focused on seeing the tractor at the farm yesterday that I was literally running to keep up with him. And a kid who was so excited at the prospect of picking out a punkin' that I felt badly about steering him away from the super-humongous-ginormous pumpkins because we don't have the room.

I worry sometimes that in all the "dailiness" of "being a Mom" and being the caretaker that I lose sight of some of those "joy in the pumpkins" moments. And I pray that I never squash such impulses in him, and just enjoy my little boy with the plus-sized personality.

That's One Way to Stay Awake

It always amazes me to hear the various stories of kids and their "sleeping styles." Quantity, timing, location... all vary from kid to kid and even in the same kid from time to time. Just to keep us parents on our collective toes...

I was apparently one of those lovely children who didn't need much sleep. At all. Once my little brother came along my Mother had to enforce "quiet time" to try and get me to play or read quietly or something. My brother was on the opposite end of this spectrum and would sleep anytime, and almost anywhere. We have photos of him sleeping in the middle of someone's kitchen counter, and home movies of him ka-zonked in his highchair. A moving vehicle was the fastest way to put him out, and I think Mom worried a bit about putting him on the school bus.

Daniel's doing pretty well with the nighttime sleeping, but I am starting to suspect that we are phasing out the naps. He must still need them because he drops off pretty quickly, but one catnap of an hour or less and he's raring to go (usually... he blessed us with a 2.5 hour nap a few days ago).

Longer car trips can get a bit trickier: put a cozy car, with some of our windier back roads and the rhythm starts him nodding off. And that little bit of extra sleep can make bedtime a lot more interesting. H stumbled across a way to keep the little guy hopping recently. (Well it will work until the temperature drops dangerously...). Roll down the window on some curvy roads, and let the breeze blow through those blond curls! Daniel gets this elated look on his face, and we all laugh the last half of the trip home with the little voice from the backseat squealing: Do 'gen! Hair blo'!

It must be the full moon...

It's Jekyll and Hyde day so far here at the DmF house.

Yesterday H and I were having one of those conversations, just going over the day. I casually mentioned to him that I thought I might take Daniel to drop-in playgroup on Friday morning, and do a grocery run in the afternoon.

Daniel has started dawdling on the steps as we try to leave the house. We have two sets of stairs to get to the garage, all of which he usually wants to do himself. This involves lots of sitting and standing holding Mama's hand, as well as getting to touch every thing/texture within reach. I'm trying to remember to leave the house with plenty of lead time so that my patience doesn't wear too thin. Today as I was trying to coax him a bit: Don't you want to go to playgroup? He looked up at me all blond curls and big blue eyes and said: Groceries? Holy Cow I forget what little sponges a two year old can be! I wasn't even talking to him about this yesterday.

Baby Hyde came out to play at the playgroup just a bit later. I usually get complimented on my little angel-face, so it was a bit disconcerting to have him screeching at every turn and about nearly every thing. I'm hoping to nap the bad mood out of him, or the grocery trip this afternoon is going to get interesting.

Coincidence?

One of Daniel's newest favorite shows is "Word World." I like it too, as it is very letters and literacy-based. Letters make up the characters and pieces of "Word World". It is hard to see in this picture, but Ant is made up of the letters A N T. It's much easier to see the B A R N.

Just a small digression here: I have been doing the single-parent thing since Saturday, and so I'm a bit bleary. I love my kid to pieces, but sunup to sundown for this many days without a break is a wee bit taxing.

Anyhow, I stumbled into the kitchen this evening to start dinner, and found on the refrigerator in magnets: A N T. I suppose I'm going to have to reserve judgement, as Daniel wouldn't replicate it... he's a very focused kid, and this afternoon the focus has been on how to get Mama to knock her head against the wall (and for how many times and how hard). But... coincidence? Sheesh! Do I start saving for MIT now??

Aacck!

There is very little that seems to scare Daniel, for which I am grateful. A few days ago we went to visit my mother-in-law and found this guy on the living room coffee table, courtesy of Uncle B. Daniel was nervous enough that we wound up putting him behind the couch and throwing a blanket over him. I thought we were home free, but last night just after midnight I heard a wail from the baby's room. When I went in he shakily said to me, "The Man!" This is the only thing I can think of, and I feel so awful about it! Hopefully it is a one-time incident and we can put it behind us. I may have to be more careful about the Halloween stuff coming up though.

In scare-Mama news I woke up this morning, and when I turned to go back into the bedroom there was another one of those heebie-jeebie spiders dangling from the doorway poised to land on my head. I managed to refrain from screaming and swept it down with a broom and out the back door.

Seasonal

A big thank you to the guys who started mowing the lawn around our complex yesterday at 7:45 ayem thereby ensuring that the toddler won't sleep in.

I poked my head in the door and he popped up like a jackrabbit saying, "Noise! Cut grass!"
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I love Fall in New England. There is a crispness to the air, pumpkins, apple picking, Fall colors. H and I even married in October. While it was tempting to try a costume wedding, we went for Fall splendor in an old church complete with pew boxes and a reception at an old New England home in the area.

I'm facing the coming winter with a bit of trepidation, however. Daniel is a bit of a bear if I don't get him out somewhere each day to burn off a bit of the toddler energy. H is of the "just bundle 'em up and get 'em out" strategy. Personally I find that harder to do the colder it gets, but then I'm a bit wimpy when it comes to the wind chill. Any ideas what to do in the wintertime other than replacing the living room furniture with a jungle gym and climbing wall? I'm trying to get prepared here.