Next Stop - The Baby Zone

We waited awhile to start really talking to Daniel about this whole new baby business. I mean, if I mention that a friend of his is having a birthday party next week he's ready to put on his shoes and go now.

But now after all kinds of good doctor visits, and being able to confirm that it is going to be a baby brother the discussions have begun in earnest. His reactions, and those of some of his friends have been priceless.

We attended a new playgroup yesterday with one of his best friends. At one point, Marisa whispered to her Mom who indicated that she should ask me. She shyly looked up and asked: "How is the baby doing? Does he kick you alot?" Apparently she had also asked her mother if I was bringing the baby to playgroup that day!

I had made plans to visit my doctor once again that same day because of the increasing sinus infection I was dealing with... When he discovered we were headed to the doctor, Daniel asked if they were going to take the baby out. I had to explain to both that he's small yet, and won't be arriving until it's warm and practically their birthdays!

I've been wondering how news of the impending arrival would sit with Daniel, as he's been Mr.-One-And-Only for going on five years now. My mother once said that I was fine with the arrival of my little brother. Until he got mobile. And could get into my stuff. It's a process, right?

And then there were four....

We're thrilled to announce an addition to the Dirt Makes Fat household: Daniel will be getting a new baby brother this coming July! I've been lucky, in that my main symptom has been fatigue. Man, am I tired. By the end of the day it is a struggle to keep my eyes open. And if I sit down to watch a TV show, forget it. I've started advising H to put a tape in for most everything, because I invariably fall asleep and miss the end!

Unfortunately February has been the month of illnesses, beginning with a tummy bug for the whole family and progressing to a wicked, wicked cold for all. Mine seems to be morphing into a sinus infection of some sort so it isn't done with me yet. I'm short on sleep and long on germs, and every time I have considered sitting down to write at this blog I've had a list of complaints that bored me to no end. I've decided to share my news in an effort to push on into the fun and exciting stuff in store as we head into March and beyond.

Mom to two boys. Who would've thought?? What an adventure!

Sleepytime

Over Daniel's increasingly busy four years we have run the spectrum of sleep issues. There was the waking every two hours early on, the sleep all day/play all night phase, and the I'll only sleep in the swing/bouncy chair/with you stages. After many tears on all our parts, we got him into his own bed and his own room, although the need to have "company" as he falls asleep has been a struggle.

Recently we have been getting more night-time visits from the little guy. In many ways, I don't mind too much. He's not crying, or being loud and obnoxious. I'm just suddenly aware of a little presence next to the bed. If I say softly: Do you want to come in? He doesn't do more than nod his head and clutch his blankie tighter. I flip back the covers and let him crawl between H and me, and all three of us drift off to sleep pretty quickly.

I'm torn, as I know that most recommendations are to take him by the hand and lead him back to bed. At three am, though, a peaceful family snooze holds lots of appeal. Early on, I read lots of baby books on sleep, and I have to say that after awhile I tossed them. They didn't serve a lot of purpose other than to make me as a new Mom feel horrible about everything I had done wrong since Day 1. And I remember blessing the Pedi who once told me: Sometimes you just do what you have to do, so that everyone can get some sleep.

If I ask Daniel why he comes to visit us, the usual response is: I was cold. My restless sleeper, he gets rid of any covers pretty quickly and doesn't really think to cover up again. That same restlessness means that I wake up with blond hairs tickling my ear, and H has Daniel's feet firmly planted in his kidneys come morning. Yet I am reluctant to give up a little cozy family time while I can get it.

Did you have sleep issues with your kids? How did you wind up handling them?

Aaand - I've just had nothin'

It's been a combination of things really. There's some stuff that I'm not prepared to talk about in this space yet. Couple that with several rounds of getting sick: the attack of the cough that keeps me from getting any sleep, and a stomach virus that swept through the family - and I've been very blog-neglectful lately.

There's a general winter funk that usually sets in around this time too. The holidays are over, and I just get caught up in dealing with a high-energy four year old who can't get outside as much as he would like and - enough with the cold already!

It's time to snap out of it.

I'm relishing the little things like warm cinnamon rolls on a Sunday morning, and Daniel's excitement over a new dinosaur video from the library. What are the little things that break you out - or even just warm and sustain you through these winter months?

Well, this doesn't feel new...

My cough is back. Sigh. Somehow every little bug winds up hitting me with a nasal drip/cough thing, and I spend the wee hours of the night - hacking. It feels as though I've tried every remedy over the years, and very little seems to have a calming effect on the cough allowing me to get some sleep.

Off to find something else to sip - hot chocolate? If there is one saving grace, Daniel listened to me cough so much in utero that it doesn't seem to faze him at all. He is currently sleeping away in the next room.

All Thumbs

There are times where this Mommy Gig is truckin' along smoothly and I feel like I have a handle on things. Daniel is having a blast at preschool, I'm staying on top of projects, carving out time for H and I, finding time for me and some friends.

Yet somehow the end of the year is tinged with this scramble/trying to keep up feeling. The weather is colder and I am trying hard not to hibernate. The four year old is full of bounding boy-energy, all sweetness one minute and contrary the next. I'm still hunting for picky-eater meal solutions. And dressing for the cold/heading out to preschool took an interesting turn the other day when he put his mittens on backwards. His pinkies were actually in the thumbs of his mittens, and he was struggling to pick something up. He absolutely, positively insisted that this was the way the mittens went and nothing I could do would convince him otherwise.

Mom of a four year old mantra: "Pick your battles. Pick your battles." Repeat often.

Zumba!

Simply put, I'm a bit of a couch potato.

No, I take that back. I don't shy away from active things, but I prefer them to be activities themselves. I grew up water skiing and swimming, riding bikes and ice skating, playing softball... one of my favorite Christmas memories is the year the entire family got cross-country skis and that became a family activity for awhile.

Even though I know I need to exercise, talk to me about going to the gym or running or something and I can feel my shoulders go into an automatic shrug. It's just not all that appealing. (H, on the other hand, gets grouchy if he can't work out at least every other day.) So I was a little bit surprised to find myself at a local dance studio recently with a few friends to give Zumba a try.

I was even more surprised to find - I think I like it! Latin and international music, combined with (mostly) easy to follow moves - Zumba keeps my heart rate up. I feel good and energized when the hour is over. Even better, our energetic instructor is low-key and very adaptable and encouraging. I like the reassurance that if I'm having trouble with a move to, "Just shake it! Move to the beat! Have fun!"

Me and my lack of rhythm may have actually found a workout routine. Yay!

Bits O' Grace

1. Fall days that reach 67 degrees!
2. Mommy friends from my now, sadly, defunct Family Network. You ladies save my sanity...
3. Zumba! So refreshing to get moving...
4. Early morning snuggles with the four year old.
5. Testing myself on Cash Cab trivia.

Grace-Full

1. Pumpkin Whoopie Pies!
2. Snuggling into Daniel when he came to our room and climbed into bed in the early am.
3. The bluest sky.
4. The crunch of leaves underfoot on a crisp day.
5. Tex-Mex shepherd's pie followed by a chaser of limeade.

November seems like the perfect month to revisit Grace-full Mondays, inspired by 365 Days of Grace.

Underwater Adventure

Our fishy saga continues. One of the two guppies went belly-up awhile back. I've been content to sit back with the one fish, so imagine my shock when there was a new crop of little fry several weeks later. Remembering the disappearance of the last batch of babies, we scooped about a dozen out into a little bowl that sits on the counter in the kitchen. The ones remaining in the tank seemed to disappear after a bit.

Peering into the tank a week or so ago I discovered at least four more babies. Either they were very good at hiding from the carnage, or Mama Guppy had a few more!

Can a fish be perpetually pregnant? How long are guppy pregnancies anyway? I've been thinking of reintroducing the babies as they get a bit larger and hopefully some will make it. In the meantime I'm just grateful that I haven't had to explain to my little man why the fish he named Daniel keeps having offspring!

Boo

So first my Yahoo email address got hacked. Highly embarrassing, and many apologies to anyone who has had any email contact with me whatsoever.

Now in the midst of this past week of single parenting with H out of town, I come down with yet again The Cough That Won't Quit. I was checking out at a store this morning and could hardly get a breath for the coughing. The poor clerk was sympathetic, but I have visions of her sanitizing everything as soon as I walked out the door.

Sigh.

This week has been hard. I'm off to hug my pillow and fantasize about ghost cupcakes landing on my doorstep.

The Complaint Department

So we've been doing this potty-training thing, and it's going swimmingly during the daytime. We're still working on the whole dry at night thing, and so I popped a Pull-up on Daniel the other evening before getting his PJs on. He proceeded to get a rather odd look on his face, and start itching at first one leg and then the other. I finally peeked, only to see strips of what looked almost like packing tape on the leg elastics of the Pull-up.

Huh? And I've actually pulled two out of this package with the same problem. Where in the past, I might have simply thrown away defective product I am going to sit down and write a (nicely worded) complaint email to Huggies/Kimberly-Clark.

The Internet is a great tool for this. Where in the past, the complaint process could be laborious and time-consuming Internet communication greatly shortens the distance between company and consumer. I've had two instances over the past several years, both food-related, where I felt a complaint was in order. I bought a tub of margarine once, only after a knife-full or two I discovered a hollowed out air bubble in the center. Enough of the margarine was gone, that I felt I had not gotten what I paid for. In another case I bought some cookies-n-cream ice cream. Got it home, to find two tiny cookie bits in a sea of vanilla. Again, nothing wrong with the ice cream - but certainly not what I'd paid for. Both times, after inquiring emails to the companies, I received apologies and coupons for free product. Over and above that, I had the feeling of being heard and certainly a stronger inclination to give these companies' products another try.

I'm off to start writing.

From the too cute files...

Daniel gets into a lot of play-acting: superheroes of all kinds, firemen, policemen. A park near us put in loads of new play structures recently, one of which is shaped like a fire truck. The whole area is peppered with bells that the kids can ring by stomping on them. He spent a good portion of our afternoon there yesterday stomping and ringing and yelling "Fire!" and then racing for the fire truck.

After watching some cop shows with Daddy, Daniel started talking about how he's going to: "Put handcups on you!"

Handcups. It's too cute! I haven't the heart to correct it.

Hello, SuperNanny?

Just spent several days in meltdown-land with the four year old, and I'm really looking for a map or an arrow or a guide or a big freakin' neon sign or something to point me out of this minefield. We seem to have crossed more firmly into the realm of Daniel wanting to do everything himself. I love the independence he is showing, and I certainly do admire his persistence. If only I could do something about his frustration level.

It could be anything that sets it off. Getting his socks on, the building blocks that won't go together, wanting dessert when he hasn't eaten his meal yet (and of course being told no!). And woe betide me if I offer help, or even just directions. Trying to move things along by say, implying that if the socks and shoes are not on then you can't meet your friend Marisa at the library just transfers the storm. Instead of wailing about the socks I get wailing about NOOO! I WANT TO GOOOO!

Other responses run the gamut of ignoring him (made all the more difficult when the aforementioned wailing involves much clutching of Mommy's legs) to picking him up and removing him bodily from a situation. Or in the case of being at home, plunking him in his room and shutting the door for a time out.

Maybe it's a school adjustment? He's been a champ at preschool, and I've talked to some folks who have suggested that some kids expend so much energy being "on" and "good" at school that they do a bit of a fall-apart when they get home in a safe environment. I'm not sure yet. I just want to get back to some cheery interaction with my kid.

A Full Day

Finally got in for Daniel's four-year appointment a bit belatedly. I wasn't really realizing that we would be getting three shots today. You'd think I'd be a wee bit immune what with all the pokes kids get but his pain still drives me immediately to tears.

On the flip side, I'm still tickled at my little chatterbox telling the doctor all about school and his teacher Miss Katie and firetrucks and I like the red ones and the green ones - the green ones are the airport fire trucks, you know. And then he held up the toy dinosaur that he had brought with him and proclaimed that there are no more dinosaurs - They're all stinked!

Shots wiped the both of us out a bit, and so it was only after a nap that we hit the park to enjoy the glorious Fall day. A little boy around Daniel's age popped up and said What's your name? Daniel.

What's your name? Matt.

Let's play together! And the two proceeded to chase around and around the playground for the rest of the afternoon. Loving my little social butterfly!

Remembering - and onward...

Things were a whirl yesterday. Like so many, September 11th gives me pause. A flashbulb moment, we all have recollections of what we were doing that day.

I was an executive assistant at a B2B publishing company outside of Boston. My early-bird routine had become established once I had married in 2000 and moved westerly. Getting on the road early eased my commute, gave me some time in the office without distraction and enabled me to get a bit of a jump on my demanding boss. Thus I was already at work as events began to unfold. Time has blurred things just a bit, and I don't recall the first indications of something wrong. I remember hopping on the Internet, moving from news site to news site trying to get updates. Staying on the line with the terrified wife of one of our sales reps - she knew her husband was traveling that day, but did not know his itinerary. The relief as we tracked him down. The hush in the office. Thinking of colleagues in New York. Someone had pulled a TV into the atrium so that anyone who stopped in could keep up with any televised news. The shock of realizing that two gentlemen who had dinner with my boss the evening before had lost their lives on Flight 11.

I struggle to find a balance. I have many moments where I want to go on a "media diet" of sorts. Forgo any news of the economy, of 9/11, of the thefts and murders and horrible things that go on in the world. Balance. To never forget, and yet to not have the awfulness that is out there pull me down like quicksand.

It is eight years later, and my world is different in so many ways. I am a stay at home Mom of a beautiful little boy. And this year on September 11th he ventured out to his first day of preschool. I choose to look at the world with the same hope and excitement I saw on my little boy's face yesterday.

All in an 8 Gallon Tank

Condo living limits our available space, options - and often even a desire to have a pet. Daniel got a fish tank for his birthday from Grandma and Grandpa. Setting it up has felt a bit like an exercise in how to do everything wrong. Put the fish in too soon, whoops - we're supposed to have a heater? Two out of four fish croaked by the first morning.

Lucky for me we haven't had them long enough for any real attachments to develop... Had the two remaining guppies for a week or two, and while I've been trying very hard not to overfeed them I couldn't help but think they were acting strangely. Steeling myself to find them belly-up in the near future I went to feed them the other day. Only to find a mini-cloud of nine little fish babies buzzing around the tank! I pointed them out to Daniel, but when I went to peek at the tank after lunch the whole lot of itty-bitties were gone. Apparently they were yummy? Ack!

Daniel puzzled over things when my parents lost their dog Sophie. We even had our own (imaginary) dog named Sophie who came to hang out with us for awhile. I'm just grateful to have skimmed over the hard questions on this one so far... but the guppies are still acting strangely.

Hurricane D

Before I had Daniel, if anyone had ever told me that my kid could make me cry frustrated, upset, angry tears I probably would have laughed. Little did I know! After a particularly harrowing afternoon of the two of us at odds over every... single... cotton-pickin'... thing... I finally sat on my bed for a good sob. Something had to give, and apparently it was me in that moment. Up until my little man stopped his own fussing to meekly walk in and hand me a tissue.

Recently had some strides on the potty-training front. Great ones - but we have hit this sort of middle-ground, impasse: Peeing on the potty like a champ, yet insisting on a Pull-up for any other business. No amount of bribery is swaying him. Talks excitedly of when he will get this or that (currently a Star Wars figure), but when it comes to the moment it's a Pull-up or no go. Any tips from folks who have been there about how to get past this?

Heebie Jeebies

I don't get icked-out much. Probably a good thing in my house full of testosterone. When I was little, my brother and I used to go frog hunting with flashlights at night. In summer, the kiddie pool was often leaning against the house, and if you flipped it over the little buggers were usually hopping everywhere. Picking 'em up was a guarantee that at least one would pee in your hands. We caught turtles, dug for worms... I used to go fishing with my Grandpa and my Dad and could bait a hook. They taught me how to get fish off the line too.

Bugs give me trouble. I've been avoiding the humongous spider that has been lurking in the eaves at the corner of our garage. The recent torrential rains took down the web, but it's a determined bugger and was back today. Finally got a broom and tried to swipe everything down this afternoon. First time Daniel has been treated to a screeching Mama doing the heebie jeebie dance. I'm not sure he knew what to think! I'm trying not to transfer my phobia to him, but this one is tough... ever faced down a bug you're scared to squish?

Enough talk. Skin is crawling. Off to think happy thoughts!

Countdown

Preschool is coming! A first for our household. We've talked up school, visited the classroom. We've even driven by any number of times, and Daniel has often pointed out: That's my school. Now that we are in the final days, I suddenly hear:

Will Marisa be there? (No.)

Will you and Daddy be there? (No.)

I don't want to go to school! I don't want to go there alone!

Urk! What do I do? He's usually pretty fearless when it comes to activities and classes and such. Tae Kwon Do has been something new, which doesn't include any of his best buds. Of course he also knows that I don't leave while that class is going on.

I'm off to calm my racing heart/head and think up reassuring thoughts/phrases regarding school. Any advice from those of you who have done this?