Hello, SuperNanny?

Just spent several days in meltdown-land with the four year old, and I'm really looking for a map or an arrow or a guide or a big freakin' neon sign or something to point me out of this minefield. We seem to have crossed more firmly into the realm of Daniel wanting to do everything himself. I love the independence he is showing, and I certainly do admire his persistence. If only I could do something about his frustration level.

It could be anything that sets it off. Getting his socks on, the building blocks that won't go together, wanting dessert when he hasn't eaten his meal yet (and of course being told no!). And woe betide me if I offer help, or even just directions. Trying to move things along by say, implying that if the socks and shoes are not on then you can't meet your friend Marisa at the library just transfers the storm. Instead of wailing about the socks I get wailing about NOOO! I WANT TO GOOOO!

Other responses run the gamut of ignoring him (made all the more difficult when the aforementioned wailing involves much clutching of Mommy's legs) to picking him up and removing him bodily from a situation. Or in the case of being at home, plunking him in his room and shutting the door for a time out.

Maybe it's a school adjustment? He's been a champ at preschool, and I've talked to some folks who have suggested that some kids expend so much energy being "on" and "good" at school that they do a bit of a fall-apart when they get home in a safe environment. I'm not sure yet. I just want to get back to some cheery interaction with my kid.

Remembering - and onward...

Things were a whirl yesterday. Like so many, September 11th gives me pause. A flashbulb moment, we all have recollections of what we were doing that day.

I was an executive assistant at a B2B publishing company outside of Boston. My early-bird routine had become established once I had married in 2000 and moved westerly. Getting on the road early eased my commute, gave me some time in the office without distraction and enabled me to get a bit of a jump on my demanding boss. Thus I was already at work as events began to unfold. Time has blurred things just a bit, and I don't recall the first indications of something wrong. I remember hopping on the Internet, moving from news site to news site trying to get updates. Staying on the line with the terrified wife of one of our sales reps - she knew her husband was traveling that day, but did not know his itinerary. The relief as we tracked him down. The hush in the office. Thinking of colleagues in New York. Someone had pulled a TV into the atrium so that anyone who stopped in could keep up with any televised news. The shock of realizing that two gentlemen who had dinner with my boss the evening before had lost their lives on Flight 11.

I struggle to find a balance. I have many moments where I want to go on a "media diet" of sorts. Forgo any news of the economy, of 9/11, of the thefts and murders and horrible things that go on in the world. Balance. To never forget, and yet to not have the awfulness that is out there pull me down like quicksand.

It is eight years later, and my world is different in so many ways. I am a stay at home Mom of a beautiful little boy. And this year on September 11th he ventured out to his first day of preschool. I choose to look at the world with the same hope and excitement I saw on my little boy's face yesterday.

Countdown

Preschool is coming! A first for our household. We've talked up school, visited the classroom. We've even driven by any number of times, and Daniel has often pointed out: That's my school. Now that we are in the final days, I suddenly hear:

Will Marisa be there? (No.)

Will you and Daddy be there? (No.)

I don't want to go to school! I don't want to go there alone!

Urk! What do I do? He's usually pretty fearless when it comes to activities and classes and such. Tae Kwon Do has been something new, which doesn't include any of his best buds. Of course he also knows that I don't leave while that class is going on.

I'm off to calm my racing heart/head and think up reassuring thoughts/phrases regarding school. Any advice from those of you who have done this?

Kids and Recess

When I hit junior high and high school, there was a bit of a fiscal crunch going on. (Sound familiar?) The schools started trying new and creative ways to cut corners.

Our day began earlier, but eliminated one entire class period all together - if I remember right, we ended about 1:15pm. Study hall was gone. Many "electives" started going by the wayside, and even lunch got eliminated at one point. It was replaced by a "snack break." I don't really remember the duration of said break, but thankfully that was one change that didn't last long.

The NY Times has published a good article on the importance of recess. We are just starting our venture into this whole idea of school where Daniel is concerned. But I am seriously considering clipping this and filing it somewhere for easy access.