To Sleep...

Sleep training sucks. I know I created this monster, and that it will take some time to undo it, but Holy Cow. Sleep training. Sucks. My eyeballs feel like they've been rolled in Tabasco Sauce, kicked around in some beach sand awhile, and been popped back in my forehead a little too close together.

Ethan spent the first two days at home with us sleeping in his crib. Then refused altogether. We slept awhile in a bouncy chair, and then it was co-sleeping. He is so mobile now that none of us were getting proper sleep. Well, perhaps he was until he pulled himself off the end of the bed one morning before I woke up. And I knew it was time.

This past week has taken me back to those newborn months of waking round the clock for feedings. It's like the kid has some sort of internal gyroscope. He can be sound asleep and the very act of trying to lay him in his crib has him awake and shrieking. Tonight is the very first night that he went into the crib with only a whimper. Please, please let this be the start of a trend! I am off to bed!

Daze

So Daniel's kindergarten adventure ended with one of those fun school programs. You know the kind - they're equal parts being proud of your kid showing off what he's learned, signing songs and so forth and equal parts getting hysterical over the antics of umpteen 5 and 6 year-olds packed into risers and hamming it up. Our local high school even taped the production and so Grandma and Grandpa got a chance to see it via DVD.

For a relatively unscheduled summer, we've somehow gotten awfully busy. Immediately following the kindergarten graduation, we set out for Gettysburg. It was a trip we had planned for earlier in the year, except that H's back had gone out on him and we weren't able to travel in early May. If you're at all into history and the Civil War, Gettysburg is a fascinating town with loads of stuff to see and do. Just for fun, we stepped into one of those photography studios and got an "old time" photograph of our family.

A trip to Grandma and Grandpa's place in Wisconsin almost didn't happen after Daniel came down with a stomach bug right beforehand. Last thing we would need was 2 days driving with barfy kids (or adults). In the end, we crossed our fingers and set out. Ethan was feverish for the 4th of July (an old-time, small-town parade - great fun!). A relaxing and fun time was had by all, until Grandma fell ill with the bug right before our departure. Thank goodness we all have stayed well since.

In the meantime my baby turned 1 this month! My big boy will turn 6 in August, and (pinch me!) will be starting 1st Grade in the Fall. I am hunkering down to sleep train the little man, and hope to come out of Zombie, No Sleep Land before school starts. Off to bed!

Uncle

How do I do this again? We keep adding new wrinkles to this "sleep in a crib" business. Ethan has slept in the darn thing, but the slightest peep around the house wakes him up. The other day? When I (oops) let him fall asleep in the chair? Big Brother Daniel could run screaming from one end of our little condo to the other, and Ethan hardly twitched a muscle. I think the circles under my eyes are developing circles from all the up and down, interrupted sleep. I want to grit my teeth and power through this, but I think I'm getting a little loopy from the incomplete sleep schedules.

And Ah, lovely New England has gifted us with what the news has called the 6th storm in as many weeks. I'm not sure, I've stopped keeping count. We're at 60+ inches of snow which is more than the average for an entire season. And it's January. I cry Uncle!

Sleepless in New England

Ethan celebrated his half birthday this week. I blinked, and it's been six months! We marked the occasion with a pediatrician appointment. All good positive news on height and weight and so forth, except for the dreaded words. You've really got to get him in a crib.

From early on the kid expressed an extreme dislike of his crib. I quickly found out that he loved the little chair that used to be Daniel's and that he would sleep like a champ in that... Pop him in the chair, park him next to our bed, pull out the foot and recline him back and poof! Problem solved. I was getting pretty jealous? possessive? of the lovely sleep I was getting, and so I delayed moving him to his bed. The doctor expressed some safety concerns as he is getting more mobile all the time, and so on top of the three shots trauma Mommy decided it was time to be sleeping in the crib.

Night #1 was brutal. Hours of 10 minutes wailing in the crib, 10 minutes of Mommy holding and comforting, 1o minutes of crib crying, 10 minutes of Mommy soothing. Poor kid was so exhausted that he would fall asleep immediately in my arms when I picked him up. But as soon as his back hit the mattress - Wahhh! I think we slept from about 1am - 5:30am.

Night #2 was a vast improvement. Maybe 20 minutes of back and forth with one wakeup in the middle of the night.

We had our last feeding of the evening tonight and I just put him down in his crib. He kicked hard for a minute and then turned his face toward the wall and just seemed to go to sleep. Could it be?? I'm hoping for a better night's sleep for all. And maybe now I can stop feeling like the Wicked Witch of the West...

Enough Said...

Best of the Mommybloggers... and my mantra of the moment.

Sleepytime

Over Daniel's increasingly busy four years we have run the spectrum of sleep issues. There was the waking every two hours early on, the sleep all day/play all night phase, and the I'll only sleep in the swing/bouncy chair/with you stages. After many tears on all our parts, we got him into his own bed and his own room, although the need to have "company" as he falls asleep has been a struggle.

Recently we have been getting more night-time visits from the little guy. In many ways, I don't mind too much. He's not crying, or being loud and obnoxious. I'm just suddenly aware of a little presence next to the bed. If I say softly: Do you want to come in? He doesn't do more than nod his head and clutch his blankie tighter. I flip back the covers and let him crawl between H and me, and all three of us drift off to sleep pretty quickly.

I'm torn, as I know that most recommendations are to take him by the hand and lead him back to bed. At three am, though, a peaceful family snooze holds lots of appeal. Early on, I read lots of baby books on sleep, and I have to say that after awhile I tossed them. They didn't serve a lot of purpose other than to make me as a new Mom feel horrible about everything I had done wrong since Day 1. And I remember blessing the Pedi who once told me: Sometimes you just do what you have to do, so that everyone can get some sleep.

If I ask Daniel why he comes to visit us, the usual response is: I was cold. My restless sleeper, he gets rid of any covers pretty quickly and doesn't really think to cover up again. That same restlessness means that I wake up with blond hairs tickling my ear, and H has Daniel's feet firmly planted in his kidneys come morning. Yet I am reluctant to give up a little cozy family time while I can get it.

Did you have sleep issues with your kids? How did you wind up handling them?

Early Riser

It used to be that I got up early to get some early morning "me" time before the Mom stuff started. Summer has defeated that as Daniel has an innate internal clock that seem to tell him the moment we have daylight. Typical rising time is 6/6:30am, even with blackout curtains in the room!

I don't remember having too many food throwing battles when Daniel was younger. I suppose it is always possible that I blocked them from memory, but the battle has always been will he or won't he eat it vs. where is it going to land. So why, now when he knows better, do I get him upending his (luckily dry) cereal bowl on the carpet before handing it to me?

Our town has a hot air balloon festival this morning. Close enough to wave, and chat with - these folks barely cleared our chimney!

Lickety Split

We've been enjoying a break, visiting my family in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin. Basking in family time with Daniel's Grandparents, and Uncle Andy and assorted aunts, uncles and cousins. Good food, beautiful area, loads of activities... fireworks, a Fourth of July parade, trips to the park and the beach. And bedtime seems to have gone by the wayside. Our return to a regular home routine may be interesting in the days to come. But it sure has been fun!
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I was fussing over something or other during my trip - can't even remember what it was at this point, just that something didn't look right. My Mother said that her quilt group in Elkhart Lake has what they call the Galloping Horse Rule. Can whatever you think is wrong - in their instance some bit of work on a current quilt - be seen from a galloping horse? If not, move along...

I think I like it. I may start adapting this to other areas of my life.

Rewards

There are days where I'm still looking for the instruction manual for this Mom Gig. I mean, as soon as you start to feel you have it figured out, it changes up on you. First it's the sleep deprivation, and the breast feeding and the endless marching line of diapering while you try and figure out the wants and needs of this little being who is so totally dependent on you for everything. No sooner do you settle into a routine when...

It's walking and solid foods and talking up a storm and potty training. My formerly dependent little being has become a decidedly independent boy who has found his voice. And his opinion. On everything from what to wear and when - (He's now in his Fall coat. In December. At this rate the Winter coat should be on his body by mid-February or so...) to what to eat, and firm opinions on the decided injustice of having to take a nap when there is so much to do.

And there are the days where Mama wants a do-over and I have to remind myself that my boy is no longer just that cute, cuddly little thing that I brought home from the hospital and that maybe he is just having a do-over day too.

Then the bed time routine rolls around. These days it involves pajamas and story time with Daddy. I really don't mind, as it gives them a chance for some "boys time." He comes to say goodnight, and I get open arms and a Mwah (kiss), and an I wuv you.

I love you too, my baby boy.

Basking in the Balance

Days of butting heads, screaming tantrums, preschooler fish-flopping on the floor in frustration... me firmly securing my place in the boy's eyes as "Chief Squasher of Dreams."

Daniel: I want marshmallows for breakfast!

Me: No.

A visit from Grandma and Grandpa affords some much-needed breathing space. Daniel scooted me out of his room this afternoon because he and Grandma were reading a book. I happily went off to read a magazine.

And I quite enjoyed H's report of a smile on our little guy's face as he slept late last night. Sweet dreams my little one.

Nocturnal

When Daniel was tiny we fought the battles that many new parents fight regarding sleep. He wouldn't sleep except on one of us, then he wouldn't sleep unless he was in the swing. We tumbled backwards into co-sleeping for awhile, as it smoothed out some of the night-time routines with feedings and such.

Eventually, and with many tears, he was sleeping in his own crib in his own room. Our compromise being that one of us usually laid down with him until he was "out." If we tried the bedtime routine, and simply leaving he cried. Endlessly. If one of us laid down with him we could sometimes be out of there in 15 minutes with a minimum of fuss. Seemed like a fair trade off to me! Then, a few months ago, Daniel suddenly asked for lights out and asked us to leave. I guess we'd been dong this wrong, silly me!

Recently we've been getting night-time visits, however. It feels a bit like backsliding, but I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it and hoping it will pass. The funny thing is, as an infant Daniel woke up loud. We always heard babbling coming from his room well before he was really ready to be up. Now I roll over in the middle of the night only to discover my three year old curled up on the foot of the bed asleep. And I have no idea how long he's been there!

Apologies

...to my downstairs neighbor for the late night clothes washing noise. It feels like there are few alternatives when the little guy barfs on the blankie that he can't sleep without.

Looking to exchange my "Grumpy" hat...

Sleep drama continues at the house of Dirt Makes Fat. Daniel has begun fighting his nap, and he is one persistent kid. After a few days of struggling to get him down for the nap, I finally picked a day to just... go without. Maybe he doesn't need it anymore, I reasoned. He got a tot crabby and frustrated, and we were butting heads more than usual. He also crashed around suppertime which made bedtime more of a bear.

The next two days he napped of his own accord at 11 and 11:30am, setting up a nice amount of space to get him off to bed in the evening at a reasonable time and without too much ado. The next day a nap struck at 2:30pm, and today held off until 1:30pm. Once he goes down, the kid also power-naps until I decide enough is enough and I start trying my darndest to wake-im up.

No matter what time he gets to bed in the evenings, he is up at 6/6:15am. Lately I'm woken by him draped across my bedroom doorway, kicking his feet against the jamb while he waits for his parents to rise.

I am starting to give up on the idea of schedules for him.
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In the car report, after replacing the fuel assembly and spending much moolah, the frakkin' light was off on the dashboard of my frakkin' car for almost exactly 48 hours. And it's baacck! I suspect there will be additions to this report very soon. (Stupid deer.)

Mommy Doesn't Ride Again

This weekend was reminiscent of those early-baby days of endless feedings and diaper changes - I dipped a toe back into the pool of sleepless nights courtesy of Daniel and his severely stuffed/runny nose. He wasn't shy in letting me know just how unhappy he was about the whole deal. Any tricks for teaching a 2.5 year old how to blow his nose?

Saturday night, er, Sunday morning at 4am found the two of us out in the living room watching Herbie Rides Again, which was preferable to listening to the screaming about My Nose! My Nose!

The attack left as quickly as it came on, so unless there is a 24-hour cold I am now pondering the idea of allergies for the poor little guy.

Deer, Interrupted

H loves to travel. Make that H LOVES TO TRAVEL. With company or without, near or far... it seems the gears are always turning for him about planning some sort of trip. I like to travel too - it's something we have in common. But that "gear" is not so much in the on position for me since Daniel's arrival.

Our most recent outing involved a trip to Wellsboro, PA. It's beautiful country, and a prime fishing target for people like my father and brother. My parents and brother met us out there for a little fly-fishing down-time for the guys, and lots of togetherness planned for everyone to see Daniel and all. The trip began with a bang when our car met a deer about 6 miles outside of Wellsboro. We're all OK, and that's the important thing. But my car has a damaged front driver's side grille, the left front fender clean off the car and a busted front left turn signal. A little prayer of thanks that we're all OK. But damn, this was my first rather nice car...

Daniel basked in the family time. It makes me happy that he is so excited to see my extended family since there are large gaps between visits. We ate in restaurants like the Wellsboro Diner and Timeless Destination, mostly successfully since getting Daniel to sit still is sometimes a challenge. Adjoining rooms meant extra space to roam, and while Daniel's sleep schedule was pretty much a haphazard-whenever-you-feel-like-slowing-down bedtime, it was still a fun/successful trip. And we seem to be getting back to normal routines without too many bumps.

Now, on to fixing my jeep so I can stop muttering stupid deer under my breath.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

I've been musing (and being amused) by thoughts recently of those things that once you have a kid you start to wonder: How in the world did I learn this? Like, oh, blowing your nose... or spitting the toothpaste out instead of swallowing it when you brush.

The latest in that list came recently when I took the front panel off of Daniel's convertible crib. It's kinda cute - makes it look like a daybed. But - How do you learn how to not roll out of bed? Last night was the first night of the experiment.

Awhile into the evening I heard a tiny thud but no other noise, and so decided to peek at him. He had his front half on the mattress, clutching his blankie of course... and his feet on the floor. I stepped in the room and swung his feet back up - while he stayed sound asleep. Awhile later I decided to peek again. The mattress was completely empty - and Daniel was on the floor across the pillows and blankets I had laid there, perpendicular to the mattress, on his back with one hand absently twirling his hair. Still asleep. How in the world he got there, I have no idea. Did he somersault out of bed? Sleepwalk and think - Hey, this looks like a pretty good spot? If I scoop him back into bed enough times will he just suddenly get the idea? Do I start hunting around for a bed rail?

It was quite amusing, but didn't make for a very restful night's sleep for Mama.

To Sleep - Or...?

We were woken from a sound sleep this morning by a sharp cry of Ma-MA! from the next bedroom. It was 6am, and Daniel was rarin' to go.

What the heck???

I've been enjoying being relatively free of sleep disturbances. Sure, there's the usual toddler stalling and complaining about bedtime. And he sometimes takes his time actually falling asleep. But once he's out, we've usually blissfully counted the dreamland hours 'til morning. Some days I wouldn't hear from him until 7:30, 8:00 even 9:00am. Where in the world did this come from?

Getting up so early means that by the time the afternoon nap rolls around, he's pretty tired. If we skip the nap, he crashes at suppertime which makes bedtime a real bear.

Any thoughts on adjusting the sleep habits of a 2.5 year old would be much appreciated. My pillow thanks you in advance.

Liftoff, we have Liftoff!

Houston - we have a problem.

We've kept our baby monitor, even though the boy is almost 2 1/2 years old. I like that I can hear pretty clearly that he is starting to stir in the mornings, and it lets me sneak in a shower before he's fully awake. Today, as I was starting to dry off I suddenly heard frantic crying and the baby pushed through the bedroom door to greet me.

Oops. Guess we've figured out how to get out of the crib! He was fine, as he was soon jumping on our bed, but now I'm left asking myself what to do... Did this shake him enough that he's not going to give it a try for awhile? Or is he going to try flipping over the rail at the first opportunity? Do we convert to the toddler bed finally? I admit - we've been holding on to the ability to "corral" him a little bit at night. And H just pointed out a problem - this kid sleeps in about a hundred positions a night. Sometimes I can hear him rolling up against or kicking the crib sides in his sleep. Once we convert the crib, what's to keep him from rolling right out? Ah me... Do bed rails fit on toddler beds? Off to investigate...

Larks, Owls, and Toddlers with Messy Schedules... Oh My!

Years ago I was a night owl. I dropped naps at the first possible opportunity, stayed up to all hours (often for the express purpose of reading in bed at night) and yet got up for school the next day. I just seemed to need very little sleep. What I wouldn't give for that "Superpower" back!

Somewhere along the line I turned into a lark. Even before having Daniel, I started peeling myself out of bed earlier to beat the morning traffic in to work. The habit continued and my mornings are now a bit of quiet time before having to chase a toddler around.

H has a different conundrum. He is, and will probably always be a night owl. Unfortunately his job dictates otherwise as it is necessary to get up pretty early. This results in surviving on not enough sleep, and the two of us "passing in the night." I'm still not sure of a solution...

The first few years of his life Daniel hardly noticed the Daylight Savings Time changes. This past Sunday threw him off a bit, however. We were up earlier, crankier sooner before his nap... And the drive home from his Gram's house at 5:15pm in the pitch dark really had him wondering. He sat in his car seat and kept calling from the back for "Blankie? Blankie!"

I think things have finally smoothed over...

C is for Chatterbox

Since having Daniel, I've noticed my parents like to mention that I talked alot as a child. H wants to know what happened, as I am now known as a person who considers her words carefully before speaking. It sometimes must give me the appearance of being a bit shy, but it served me in good stead as an executive assistant at my former company in my former life.

Daniel's 18 month appointment was marked by the pediatrician suggesting that he might need to be evaluated for speech delay. No sooner did I panic, and begin making appointments than Daniel seemed to decide: "OK, time to talk."

He's been making up for lost time ever since. I'm not sure that I can even give an accurate count of words at this point, as his vocabulary has exploded. Mama, Dada, car, ga-ga (this has meant dog from day one, don't ask!), kitty, pig, cow, apple, milk, cookie, cracker, cheese, walk, shoes, bag, box... the list goes on.

Last night we sat in the rocking chair, for a little pre-bedtime cuddle as we usually do... he looked up at me clutching his blankie in one hand, and his "ga-ga" in the other and said, "Bed?" So I kissed him, put him in the crib and he promptly rolled over and was asleep in about 0.2 seconds. (Please don't be under the illusion that bedtime is this easy every night!).

It is an awesome, amazing and at times totally weird transition to go from being the caregiver and trying to figure them out: Is he hungry, tired, bored, need to be changed? To having them start to request things from you like "Milk?" And last night's "Bed?"

Wow.