To Sleep...

Sleep training sucks. I know I created this monster, and that it will take some time to undo it, but Holy Cow. Sleep training. Sucks. My eyeballs feel like they've been rolled in Tabasco Sauce, kicked around in some beach sand awhile, and been popped back in my forehead a little too close together.

Ethan spent the first two days at home with us sleeping in his crib. Then refused altogether. We slept awhile in a bouncy chair, and then it was co-sleeping. He is so mobile now that none of us were getting proper sleep. Well, perhaps he was until he pulled himself off the end of the bed one morning before I woke up. And I knew it was time.

This past week has taken me back to those newborn months of waking round the clock for feedings. It's like the kid has some sort of internal gyroscope. He can be sound asleep and the very act of trying to lay him in his crib has him awake and shrieking. Tonight is the very first night that he went into the crib with only a whimper. Please, please let this be the start of a trend! I am off to bed!

Uncle

How do I do this again? We keep adding new wrinkles to this "sleep in a crib" business. Ethan has slept in the darn thing, but the slightest peep around the house wakes him up. The other day? When I (oops) let him fall asleep in the chair? Big Brother Daniel could run screaming from one end of our little condo to the other, and Ethan hardly twitched a muscle. I think the circles under my eyes are developing circles from all the up and down, interrupted sleep. I want to grit my teeth and power through this, but I think I'm getting a little loopy from the incomplete sleep schedules.

And Ah, lovely New England has gifted us with what the news has called the 6th storm in as many weeks. I'm not sure, I've stopped keeping count. We're at 60+ inches of snow which is more than the average for an entire season. And it's January. I cry Uncle!

Sleepless in New England

Ethan celebrated his half birthday this week. I blinked, and it's been six months! We marked the occasion with a pediatrician appointment. All good positive news on height and weight and so forth, except for the dreaded words. You've really got to get him in a crib.

From early on the kid expressed an extreme dislike of his crib. I quickly found out that he loved the little chair that used to be Daniel's and that he would sleep like a champ in that... Pop him in the chair, park him next to our bed, pull out the foot and recline him back and poof! Problem solved. I was getting pretty jealous? possessive? of the lovely sleep I was getting, and so I delayed moving him to his bed. The doctor expressed some safety concerns as he is getting more mobile all the time, and so on top of the three shots trauma Mommy decided it was time to be sleeping in the crib.

Night #1 was brutal. Hours of 10 minutes wailing in the crib, 10 minutes of Mommy holding and comforting, 1o minutes of crib crying, 10 minutes of Mommy soothing. Poor kid was so exhausted that he would fall asleep immediately in my arms when I picked him up. But as soon as his back hit the mattress - Wahhh! I think we slept from about 1am - 5:30am.

Night #2 was a vast improvement. Maybe 20 minutes of back and forth with one wakeup in the middle of the night.

We had our last feeding of the evening tonight and I just put him down in his crib. He kicked hard for a minute and then turned his face toward the wall and just seemed to go to sleep. Could it be?? I'm hoping for a better night's sleep for all. And maybe now I can stop feeling like the Wicked Witch of the West...

Mostly Ghostly

I feel like I am haunting my own house these days. We've hit the 36th week mark for this pregnancy, and I lost my ability to sleep through the night quite some time ago. If it's not getting up to pee, it's due to the hip pain or just the uncomfortably huge belly that I'm trying to maneuver and carry around.

Restless nights, awake, asleep, awake at all hours and days spent trying to keep ahead of a four year old as well as get something done around this place. Riding in or driving a car is an adventure in fidgeting as I try to get comfortable. And this whole thing is fast becoming an exercise in frustration as I want to spend time with the people I care about, friends and family, and get prepared for this new little addition to our family. And all my body wants to do is have me flop on my side on a bed or a couch (at least until the hip pain kicks in again).

On the flip side, the last ultrasound showed everything is going wonderfully. Our little man is 6 pounds 9 ounces, and head down rather than trying to poke out my ribs as much. I'm trying to ride this out, knowing that this is all good in the end, and that the end (July 24th) is in sight. Updates here have been farther between as I don't like to hear myself complain, and wind up feeling like you'd like to hear about something else as well. Hope to be - no, know I will be in a better swing of things soon as we head into an exciting new chapter for our family.

Sleepytime

Over Daniel's increasingly busy four years we have run the spectrum of sleep issues. There was the waking every two hours early on, the sleep all day/play all night phase, and the I'll only sleep in the swing/bouncy chair/with you stages. After many tears on all our parts, we got him into his own bed and his own room, although the need to have "company" as he falls asleep has been a struggle.

Recently we have been getting more night-time visits from the little guy. In many ways, I don't mind too much. He's not crying, or being loud and obnoxious. I'm just suddenly aware of a little presence next to the bed. If I say softly: Do you want to come in? He doesn't do more than nod his head and clutch his blankie tighter. I flip back the covers and let him crawl between H and me, and all three of us drift off to sleep pretty quickly.

I'm torn, as I know that most recommendations are to take him by the hand and lead him back to bed. At three am, though, a peaceful family snooze holds lots of appeal. Early on, I read lots of baby books on sleep, and I have to say that after awhile I tossed them. They didn't serve a lot of purpose other than to make me as a new Mom feel horrible about everything I had done wrong since Day 1. And I remember blessing the Pedi who once told me: Sometimes you just do what you have to do, so that everyone can get some sleep.

If I ask Daniel why he comes to visit us, the usual response is: I was cold. My restless sleeper, he gets rid of any covers pretty quickly and doesn't really think to cover up again. That same restlessness means that I wake up with blond hairs tickling my ear, and H has Daniel's feet firmly planted in his kidneys come morning. Yet I am reluctant to give up a little cozy family time while I can get it.

Did you have sleep issues with your kids? How did you wind up handling them?

Bouncy Balls - Always trying to escape

We're in that stage of the "threes" where Daniel is arguing with me about everything. The food list is shrinking (Hello carbs!). He's too busy to use the potty, and no he really doesn't need a nap. The one plus to the recent ice storm and the current snowy weather is that he has finally stopped resisting the idea of long pants, long sleeves, coat and occasionally boots and a hat on his body.

No amount of coaxing, cajoling, redirecting (misdirecting) or smoke signals on my part seems to move us from an impasse on the other items however.

A recent tantrum on both our parts regarding the afternoon nap found me hoisting him under the arms, hauling him into his room and settling the two of us on the rocking chair in his room that has been sitting idle for awhile. I was a little amazed as the tension seeped away, and he laid his head on my shoulder and within ten minutes was asleep. We might have stayed longer, but my arms had started to ache holding up his 30+ pounds. I rolled him and his blankie onto the bed for his afternoon nap.

I resolve to make more space for "cuddle time" in 2009 and beyond.

Tired

A three year old boy and a Mommy with PMS makes for a twosome with short fuses today. This whole daylight savings time thing has messed the boy up a bit. We've been up at 6am every day, and absolutely positively refusing to take an afternoon nap. (Even though he could really use it. Come to think of it, so could I!)

It took me half an hour to get out of the house to vote this morning. Socks, shoes, whups not those socks, well OK those socks, THOSE shoes? On the plus side we could walk right in to the elementary school/polling place, and I was outta there in minutes. Waiting in line for any amount of time was SO not going to happen with the three year old in tow.

The school was running a bake sale, so Daniel scored a cookie out of the deal and we traveled on to a local park as it was a gorgeous day. Tearing around outside is always good for expending that preschooler energy. It's the arguing over every. single. thing once we step inside the front door that is wearing me into the ground today. I'm off for PJs and a drink of something warm and soothing. And bed before too long. New days in many ways tomorrow.

Nocturnal

When Daniel was tiny we fought the battles that many new parents fight regarding sleep. He wouldn't sleep except on one of us, then he wouldn't sleep unless he was in the swing. We tumbled backwards into co-sleeping for awhile, as it smoothed out some of the night-time routines with feedings and such.

Eventually, and with many tears, he was sleeping in his own crib in his own room. Our compromise being that one of us usually laid down with him until he was "out." If we tried the bedtime routine, and simply leaving he cried. Endlessly. If one of us laid down with him we could sometimes be out of there in 15 minutes with a minimum of fuss. Seemed like a fair trade off to me! Then, a few months ago, Daniel suddenly asked for lights out and asked us to leave. I guess we'd been dong this wrong, silly me!

Recently we've been getting night-time visits, however. It feels a bit like backsliding, but I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it and hoping it will pass. The funny thing is, as an infant Daniel woke up loud. We always heard babbling coming from his room well before he was really ready to be up. Now I roll over in the middle of the night only to discover my three year old curled up on the foot of the bed asleep. And I have no idea how long he's been there!

Gremlins

We've finally been making strides with the potty training around our house.

Peeing on the potty. Check.
Pooping on the potty? Go away Mommy (while hiding out in his bedroom).



The thing is: all these behaviours are totally my idea.

Hey Daniel! It's time to use the potty!
OK!

But if Mommy shuts up about the subject he will happily pee in a Pull-up any time of the day or night. Any ideas as to how to transition to that "Tell me when you gotta go, OK?" stage?

My favorite was last week when the "potty gremlins" mixed it up with the "I don't want to go to bed gremlins," and he figured out that "using" the potty meant he didn't have to go to bed just then. I don't want to discourage any thoughts of using the potty, but that was just fooling around.

To Nap or Not To Nap...

The little guy woke up this morning at 6am and crawled into bed with me. Is it possible for a three year old to be more on the move than mine right now? He's currently jumping on my bed and watching Caillou as I type this. The Nap Issue has become a special bone of contention lately.

We've worked our way to one (usually very necessary) sleep session and skipping it has usually led to a Code S - shrieking meltdown. Or crashing at suppertime and totally messing with bedtime.

Lately the daily Impending Nap (insert VOICE OF DOOM here) has been met with cries of, "No nap, I said NO NAP!" And much struggling.

On Tuesday I experimented with no actual nap, and he actually did OK. Although I was met with a bit of a wild-eyed, bouncy - obviously overtired child by bedtime. Yesterday I went back to trying for a regularly scheduled naptime. I had a nice sleep. The kid dug in his heels until 4pm, and then crashed for an hour on the couch.

Naptime provides a great break for me. But in some respects I would gladly give them up if I could have a happy, well-rested kid and be able to plan my day.

Looking to exchange my "Grumpy" hat...

Sleep drama continues at the house of Dirt Makes Fat. Daniel has begun fighting his nap, and he is one persistent kid. After a few days of struggling to get him down for the nap, I finally picked a day to just... go without. Maybe he doesn't need it anymore, I reasoned. He got a tot crabby and frustrated, and we were butting heads more than usual. He also crashed around suppertime which made bedtime more of a bear.

The next two days he napped of his own accord at 11 and 11:30am, setting up a nice amount of space to get him off to bed in the evening at a reasonable time and without too much ado. The next day a nap struck at 2:30pm, and today held off until 1:30pm. Once he goes down, the kid also power-naps until I decide enough is enough and I start trying my darndest to wake-im up.

No matter what time he gets to bed in the evenings, he is up at 6/6:15am. Lately I'm woken by him draped across my bedroom doorway, kicking his feet against the jamb while he waits for his parents to rise.

I am starting to give up on the idea of schedules for him.
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In the car report, after replacing the fuel assembly and spending much moolah, the frakkin' light was off on the dashboard of my frakkin' car for almost exactly 48 hours. And it's baacck! I suspect there will be additions to this report very soon. (Stupid deer.)

Mommy Doesn't Ride Again

This weekend was reminiscent of those early-baby days of endless feedings and diaper changes - I dipped a toe back into the pool of sleepless nights courtesy of Daniel and his severely stuffed/runny nose. He wasn't shy in letting me know just how unhappy he was about the whole deal. Any tricks for teaching a 2.5 year old how to blow his nose?

Saturday night, er, Sunday morning at 4am found the two of us out in the living room watching Herbie Rides Again, which was preferable to listening to the screaming about My Nose! My Nose!

The attack left as quickly as it came on, so unless there is a 24-hour cold I am now pondering the idea of allergies for the poor little guy.

Deer, Interrupted

H loves to travel. Make that H LOVES TO TRAVEL. With company or without, near or far... it seems the gears are always turning for him about planning some sort of trip. I like to travel too - it's something we have in common. But that "gear" is not so much in the on position for me since Daniel's arrival.

Our most recent outing involved a trip to Wellsboro, PA. It's beautiful country, and a prime fishing target for people like my father and brother. My parents and brother met us out there for a little fly-fishing down-time for the guys, and lots of togetherness planned for everyone to see Daniel and all. The trip began with a bang when our car met a deer about 6 miles outside of Wellsboro. We're all OK, and that's the important thing. But my car has a damaged front driver's side grille, the left front fender clean off the car and a busted front left turn signal. A little prayer of thanks that we're all OK. But damn, this was my first rather nice car...

Daniel basked in the family time. It makes me happy that he is so excited to see my extended family since there are large gaps between visits. We ate in restaurants like the Wellsboro Diner and Timeless Destination, mostly successfully since getting Daniel to sit still is sometimes a challenge. Adjoining rooms meant extra space to roam, and while Daniel's sleep schedule was pretty much a haphazard-whenever-you-feel-like-slowing-down bedtime, it was still a fun/successful trip. And we seem to be getting back to normal routines without too many bumps.

Now, on to fixing my jeep so I can stop muttering stupid deer under my breath.

Well, that was new!

The toddler wake up call has been averaging around 6am lately. He used to give me until 8am or so, so this has been an adjustment on my part to say the least. While we are still in PJs, and he is settled in with breakfast and Curious George I try to collect myself and get a start on my day.

Yesterday, just a bit into the morning, I found him rolling around on the carpet saying: My leg hurts. My fogged, pre-caffeinated morning brain interpreted this as: pay me some attention Mommy. I murmured something appropriate and kept doing whatever it was that I was doing. When he repeated this a few minutes later, I took a closer look. Why did one leg of the feetie pajamas look all puffy? Further investigation revealed that the diaper had detached, but only on one side, and slid down one leg to puddle around his ankle! Thank goodness that (ahem) puddle was all I really had to deal with at the time.

Sleep Experiment, Part Deux

Confession time. We have a bed of blankets and pillows for Mama and/or Dada in the little guy's room. A HUGE no-no, I know... When we were in that early fog of caring for a newborn, we tried every sleep trick we could think of: swings, bouncy seats, sleeping on one of us. The crib would result in crying howls of protest that did not stop. After listening to hours of it, we would pick the boy up and go back to one of the old methods. I ditched most of the "sleep manuals," as all they ever really did for me was point out that every single thing I tried doing was wrong, sending my sleep-deprived self into an even greater funk.

We stumbled our way into co-sleeping for awhile. With many tears on both our parts I eventually managed to drag Daniel into sleeping in his own room, and in his own crib. The thing that helped him with that was being able to peer out, and see that Mama or Dada were right there as he was drifting off. This has been difficult to break. I think we've sort of looked at it as a trade-off to avoid the nightly sobbing stress-fest. As the pediatrician said to me at one point: Sometimes you just do what you gotta do, so that everyone can get some sleep.

Flash-forward to our recent sleep developments of converting the crib to a toddler bed. It's been rather anti-climactic as, in reality, Daniel hasn't spent very many nights actually in the bed. He thinks that the little nest of blankets on the floor look pretty comfy-cozy for the night. At this rate, I may forgo the bed altogether and pitch a tent. But I can't complain.

He's still in his room.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

I've been musing (and being amused) by thoughts recently of those things that once you have a kid you start to wonder: How in the world did I learn this? Like, oh, blowing your nose... or spitting the toothpaste out instead of swallowing it when you brush.

The latest in that list came recently when I took the front panel off of Daniel's convertible crib. It's kinda cute - makes it look like a daybed. But - How do you learn how to not roll out of bed? Last night was the first night of the experiment.

Awhile into the evening I heard a tiny thud but no other noise, and so decided to peek at him. He had his front half on the mattress, clutching his blankie of course... and his feet on the floor. I stepped in the room and swung his feet back up - while he stayed sound asleep. Awhile later I decided to peek again. The mattress was completely empty - and Daniel was on the floor across the pillows and blankets I had laid there, perpendicular to the mattress, on his back with one hand absently twirling his hair. Still asleep. How in the world he got there, I have no idea. Did he somersault out of bed? Sleepwalk and think - Hey, this looks like a pretty good spot? If I scoop him back into bed enough times will he just suddenly get the idea? Do I start hunting around for a bed rail?

It was quite amusing, but didn't make for a very restful night's sleep for Mama.

To Sleep - Or...?

We were woken from a sound sleep this morning by a sharp cry of Ma-MA! from the next bedroom. It was 6am, and Daniel was rarin' to go.

What the heck???

I've been enjoying being relatively free of sleep disturbances. Sure, there's the usual toddler stalling and complaining about bedtime. And he sometimes takes his time actually falling asleep. But once he's out, we've usually blissfully counted the dreamland hours 'til morning. Some days I wouldn't hear from him until 7:30, 8:00 even 9:00am. Where in the world did this come from?

Getting up so early means that by the time the afternoon nap rolls around, he's pretty tired. If we skip the nap, he crashes at suppertime which makes bedtime a real bear.

Any thoughts on adjusting the sleep habits of a 2.5 year old would be much appreciated. My pillow thanks you in advance.

Liftoff, we have Liftoff!

Houston - we have a problem.

We've kept our baby monitor, even though the boy is almost 2 1/2 years old. I like that I can hear pretty clearly that he is starting to stir in the mornings, and it lets me sneak in a shower before he's fully awake. Today, as I was starting to dry off I suddenly heard frantic crying and the baby pushed through the bedroom door to greet me.

Oops. Guess we've figured out how to get out of the crib! He was fine, as he was soon jumping on our bed, but now I'm left asking myself what to do... Did this shake him enough that he's not going to give it a try for awhile? Or is he going to try flipping over the rail at the first opportunity? Do we convert to the toddler bed finally? I admit - we've been holding on to the ability to "corral" him a little bit at night. And H just pointed out a problem - this kid sleeps in about a hundred positions a night. Sometimes I can hear him rolling up against or kicking the crib sides in his sleep. Once we convert the crib, what's to keep him from rolling right out? Ah me... Do bed rails fit on toddler beds? Off to investigate...

Larks, Owls, and Toddlers with Messy Schedules... Oh My!

Years ago I was a night owl. I dropped naps at the first possible opportunity, stayed up to all hours (often for the express purpose of reading in bed at night) and yet got up for school the next day. I just seemed to need very little sleep. What I wouldn't give for that "Superpower" back!

Somewhere along the line I turned into a lark. Even before having Daniel, I started peeling myself out of bed earlier to beat the morning traffic in to work. The habit continued and my mornings are now a bit of quiet time before having to chase a toddler around.

H has a different conundrum. He is, and will probably always be a night owl. Unfortunately his job dictates otherwise as it is necessary to get up pretty early. This results in surviving on not enough sleep, and the two of us "passing in the night." I'm still not sure of a solution...

The first few years of his life Daniel hardly noticed the Daylight Savings Time changes. This past Sunday threw him off a bit, however. We were up earlier, crankier sooner before his nap... And the drive home from his Gram's house at 5:15pm in the pitch dark really had him wondering. He sat in his car seat and kept calling from the back for "Blankie? Blankie!"

I think things have finally smoothed over...

Laundry Misdeeds

Holy cow did today start with a misstep... We have a blankie in the house. I've been fortunate that Daniel doesn't seem to cart it everywhere - it's made thousands of miles of trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house, and even to the doctor's office a few times when I thought comfort might be exceptionally needed. But usually it is just a fixture in the house: a good cuddler on the couch, and a must at bedtime. Needless to say, blankie gets a tad, um, ripe at times. The best plan of attack is to launch it straight into the laundry as soon as he gets up. Then I am pretty much guaranteed to have the thing dry by nap time.

Little did I know. I executed Plan B: Wash Blankie when Daniel's second favorite morning show came on the air. Super Why is a new PBS show that is also very letters and reading oriented, and Daniel is fascinated with it at the moment. The show began, and durn it all he started hunting for the blankie. It was a slippery slope after that... nothing I could do was quite right. (I'll cry 'til you pick me up. No, wait, pick me up and I'll cry harder!)

I finally cut the tumble dry short, yanked blankie from the dryer, and handed it to him slightly damp. And lo, peace did reign on the house of Dirt Makes Fat. For the moment...