Spiraling

Fall is here! There's that crisp little bite to the air in the mornings and evenings (while our mid-days are still hovering in the 70s-80s...). I still don't feel like the parent of a 1st grader. Daniel seems to be adapting fairly well to school, although I've gotten comments about how it seems to be a really long day. (Kindergarten was half-day.) We're still doing karate and considering Cub Scouts. And I'm finally getting to do a playgroup that is devoted to Ethan and not just a tagalong with his older brother event. In many ways we're rocking this new schedule. And yet...

What do you all do for, well... you? Don't get me wrong, I love my family dearly and wouldn't change a thing. H works his ass off so that I can be home with the kids. Between his work schedule and my spinning top household/kids schedule it often feels like we simply wave at each other before falling into bed at night. I'm wishing we could get to a movie or something that doesn't involve, say The Smurfs. And I find myself pondering the me that isn't attached to the labels we all have: daughter, sister, wife, mother... What fills you up, sparkles your rainbow, puts a Cheshire Cat grin on your face? I'm struggling to reconnect with that core of me a bit more of late. Lately it's involved some clandestine reading of my favorite fantasy authors, while swigging frozen lemonade. What do you do?

And could someone please come over and figure out where the clicker to my DVD player went when it vanished? Not sure if it's where the stray socks go, but it's been missing forever...

Overture, Curtains, Lights...

I miss movies. Daniel is finally of an age where he would sit through one in a theater, but I highly doubt we could get away with having a 1 year old there as well. A good action / escape flick like Cowboys & Aliens sounds great about now. H may try to take Daniel and his cousin Nicholas to the Drive-In in the near future. A great summer adventure!

Wonder if I can get away with making popcorn while I am up at 3am with the little guy surfing the On Demand selections on cable?

Mobile Me, Mobile You

So the little guy is just so, so close to being able to get around to everything on his own. He figured out early on that rolling was a pretty handy way to get from here to there, and I could put him down in the living room and find him steadily making his way to the kitchen (front, back, front, back). Now he can sit, and has a pretty steady push-up going with his arms. He can even do a bit of that modified sort of army, belly crawl using his arms... His little bottom will occasionally scooch in the air, but the front and back ends aren't quite coordinated together yet for actual crawling. I think I need to start baby-proofing soon. As we all know, a 5-year-old's toys usually come with itty-bitty parts (thank you Star Wars figures!).

While Ethan is learning how to be mobile, H suddenly isn't. He threw out his back earlier this week. There was a point where I was debating the need for an ambulance to get him out of the house as he was having trouble getting up from the floor. Prescription painkillers and muscle relaxers later, and he is ouching his way around the house. Not better, but somewhat bearable.

I need to be seen for possible hip bursitis, as my hip pain that started during pregnancy has never exactly left me. So, while us old-timers envy the baby his elastic little body that lets him roll in a ball and nibble on his own toes - Spring may have finally sprung. The trees are painted a delicate green. The farm stands are open. I'm looking forward to being out in it.

Unhibernation

Whoo! I've been away from this space for far too long. This winter has done a number on me it seems, and I hesitated to come to the blog simply to complain, complain, complain.

First it was snow upon snow upon snow. A friend had to evacuate her condo one weekend due to a roof collapse. Luckily it was not her unit and she was back after only a few days. Some other friends had such a problem with ice dams on their roof that they developed leaks in their kitchen and had their front door frozen shut one day. For the first time ever our condo complex posted notices requesting people to try and shovel their decks so they wouldn't be compromised by the weight of the snow. H had to squeeze out the storm window on the screen door to get out there and remove all the white stuff. We lost our front awning due to heavy snow another day.

Compounding my feeling forced-inside-ness was our ability to pick up any little germ floating around our family. One of the last colds left the baby with his first ear infection. The 10-day course of Amoxicillin also left him with the most wicked case of diaper rash you ever did see. It's taken weeks to kick it, and I never thought I would be so versed in bum-creams - prescription and otherwise. The poor kid has finally stopped looking like he's sitting on a sunburn.

While Daylight Savings Time has done a number on all our sleep schedules, I'm finally feeling like we've turned a corner. It's lighter, later. I think the official calendar start of Spring is this weekend. While there's still snow on the ground, the towering, vision-obscuring snowpiles have diminished. It's supposed to get near 60 degrees the next few days. I'm breathing a little easier. How about you?

The Complaint Closet

If I'd known that a whole lotta my maternity clothes wouldn't fit me anyway the second time around, I might not have held onto so much. My top half is covered pretty well, but I have yet to find bottoms of any kind that aren't annoying the heck out of me (binding, sagging, just not fitting or uncomfortable in general...). Since the weather has flipped from pretty nice to 40s and wet, I'm lucky I'm able to leave the house.

On the plus side, I'm counting my blessings that H made it out of Scotland before the Iceland volcano went kablooey. What a mess. I feel for those poor travelers, and I'd really be outta my mind if H were still stuck overseas.

I did find some only mildly uncomfortable maternity pants to wear, and got out of the house with some of my local Mom friends last night. Unknown to me and to Melissa, another preggo Mom due around the same time, the ladies had conspired to make this our "baby shower." They wouldn't let us pay for dinner, and we each got a Target gift card to look out for some baby things... Yummy appetizers and dinner, lots of laughs and conversation - I have the best friends.

Aaand - I've just had nothin'

It's been a combination of things really. There's some stuff that I'm not prepared to talk about in this space yet. Couple that with several rounds of getting sick: the attack of the cough that keeps me from getting any sleep, and a stomach virus that swept through the family - and I've been very blog-neglectful lately.

There's a general winter funk that usually sets in around this time too. The holidays are over, and I just get caught up in dealing with a high-energy four year old who can't get outside as much as he would like and - enough with the cold already!

It's time to snap out of it.

I'm relishing the little things like warm cinnamon rolls on a Sunday morning, and Daniel's excitement over a new dinosaur video from the library. What are the little things that break you out - or even just warm and sustain you through these winter months?

Lickety Split

We've been enjoying a break, visiting my family in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin. Basking in family time with Daniel's Grandparents, and Uncle Andy and assorted aunts, uncles and cousins. Good food, beautiful area, loads of activities... fireworks, a Fourth of July parade, trips to the park and the beach. And bedtime seems to have gone by the wayside. Our return to a regular home routine may be interesting in the days to come. But it sure has been fun!
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I was fussing over something or other during my trip - can't even remember what it was at this point, just that something didn't look right. My Mother said that her quilt group in Elkhart Lake has what they call the Galloping Horse Rule. Can whatever you think is wrong - in their instance some bit of work on a current quilt - be seen from a galloping horse? If not, move along...

I think I like it. I may start adapting this to other areas of my life.

My Brain on Summer

Summer, feh! I've got no excuses, really. June has been cool to cold, and raining. I bought Daniel a Slip-N-Slide to try this year, but in the grand tradition of experiencing drought as soon as you buy a kid some rainboots we have yet to use it. Where is my summer???

My scattered summer brain has started and stopped a number of blog posts that couldn't seem to get beyond a "cliff's notes" stage. Like:

- Driver beware! At least in Massachusetts, the state police are pulling over cars to enforce the "move over" law. (If there are police, emergency personnel, etc. at the side of the road you are obligated to move to farther lanes.) I understand the law, but man did we fall into a ticket trap last week.

-Must find more activities for the 3.5 year old this summer! If we are leaving one activity, he wants to know where we are going next. I find him running laps of our tiny deck when we are at home. Any recommendations?

-Tickled to find the Retro TV Network on one of the random Comcast stations that I don't usually frequent. Magnum PI/vintage Tom Selleck has helped me wind down the past few nights after the kiddo is in bed. Anyone want to volunteer a favorite vintage TV show that you can't help but watch? Particularly one you haven't seen for awhile?

Tonight I am off to a Thirty-One purse party with the girls, and to perhaps drink a margarita. Hopefully to usher in SUMMER!

Bits-o-Bliss

H has been setting me free for some bits of "me time" lately, and I must say that it has been kind of delicious. There was a night out with the Moms at the local pub, that involved many drinks, munchies and lots of laughs. Pamela and I spent another night feeding our girlie sci-fi geek selves by seeing the new Star Trek movie. (Go see it! Great action! Excellent cast!)

Hoping to grab some outdoor fun today. Perhaps the beaches of York, Maine again. Daniel loves to run on the sand, in the wind, jump the waves. I grew up by Michigan lakes, and love the water. While I find the Maine coast a bit cold for my taste (see: jumping into an ice bath) - I do enjoy strolling the beach and breathing in the salty spray.

Wishing you a Sunday - and a summer - chock full of your own blissful moments.

Eagle Eye

The kid notices everything.

A few weeks ago we were out to dinner with some friends. We'd been seated sort of in the "pub" area, which was fine as smoking vs. non is no longer a consideration on these outings. Daniel started loudly voicing that he wanted to see Scooby-Doo. Glancing around the room, I realized that every other table or so came equipped with small screen TVs. (I suspect for Keno, but they played shows too...). We were under a large-screen TV that was blasting sports or news or somesuch... and across the room was a young family with Scooby on for their kids.

Today, H gave me the Mother's Day gift of time. He whisked Daniel away on a boys-only outing for a few hours, leaving me to do whatever I wished around the house. When they returned, H reported that Daniel, while driving through a town he had never been in before, piped up with: I think you work there.

When H turned his head, he realized that the building said: US Post Office. I can only guess that he must have spotted the emblem or something.

I'm going to scratch the kid's eyesight off my list of worries, that's for sure!

Yesterday, in a museum not far from here...

It was Star Wars Day! We went to the Higgins Armory Museum - heaven for a knight-crazy three year old. A glass and steel building, the place is plastered with suits of armor, swords, shields and all manner of weaponry. On Saturday the invasion force consisted of stormtroopers from the Emperor's 501st Legion and members of the Rebellion. They were closely followed by loads of Star Wars crazy kids. There was a battle demonstration between a Jedi Knight and a Sith Lord, many costumed characters roaming the hallways for photo opportunities, and Daniel and his cousin Nicholas were thrilled to try on stormtrooper helmets.

Star Wars touched off my journey towards loving science fiction and many things "fantastic." I'm tickled to see Daniel enjoying it too.

I need some good news...

I am planning a moratorium on news-gathering for awhile. It seems everywhere I turn it's war and families imploding (and just plain killing themselves and each other.) Or it's information about the economy ("The sky is falling!") and it comes time for us to pay the bills and I start to hyperventilate a little...

I want to not complain and not be tired. Spring is here, and I want to concentrate on afternoons like yesterday when I got to run through the park and watch H push Daniel on the swings and help him throw rocks off the park bridge into the water below. I wish there was a store like BabyCakes just a little bit closer, so Daniel and I could take walks and stop in for a small treat. Goodness knows we all need more small treats these days.

A Treat

I love my little guy to pieces, but there are moments where my switch always being in Mom Mode just becomes a bit exhausting. H gifted me with a few hours of time to myself this afternoon by taking Daniel for a visit with his Gram and Uncle Bruce.

It was a delightful smorgasbord of things to do - some necessary like a load of laundry, but most were not and just completely my aimless wandering. A power nap, computer work without the guilt, nibbling a snack of avocado, reading a chapter of Driving Sideways while curled under the bedcovers, watching non-kid approved programs such as a documentary on Hollywood folks who escaped Nazi Germany, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, and Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-ins and Dives all at the same time. I also got the chance to sneakily wash Daniel's much-loved blankie while he was gone.

The boys returned, and we bustled about dinner. As is typical of late, Daniel was more interested in his robots and coloring and wrestling his father than eating. We all had hysterics when one of us exclaimed: Let me see Daniel! Preparing to scoop him up, only to have Daniel reply: Dam-el isn't ON right now! As though he were a TV show we were all happily watching. Then there were Curious George stories and bedtime.

Buzzing about at my own pace was refreshing. I must work at finding small concentrated moments to do this more often.

refreshing

Grandma and Grandpa are still in town, but are winding up their visit. It's just after our 8th anniversary, and so H and I took advantage of the babysitting to use a positively ancient gift certificate that I had to a very nice restaurant.

I love my little guy more than anything, and of course he was a big topic of conversation. But it is such a gear switch to have a leisurely meal with attentive waiters. Conversation without having to ask the three year old to get back into his chair or to stop mashing his potatoes between his fingers. And to take a browse through the local Borders bookstore - not to buy anything, just to look - without the constant refrain of "Where's Daniel?" pitter-pattering through my brain.

Wasn't there an old slogan - The pause that refreshes - for Coca Cola or something?

Tonight was a refreshing Mommy and Daddy pause. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!

Bunny Hell

Our cable has been out for the past few days. Only on one of the two TVs, but it means there is NO WAY OUT. My Spiderman-obsessed, GI-Joe, Incredible Hulk, Darth Vader superhero action figure kid has discovered the bunnies Max and Ruby.

And Mommy has discovered what must be one of the newer circles of hell. It's an adorable cartoon, but we're on the eleventy-billionth viewing. Cable guy comes tomorrow, and we are high-tailing this one back to the library ASAP. Luckily bedtime went down without a hitch and I've gotten in some computer/quiet non-"Max and Ruvee" time this evening. Sanity to resume tomorrow.

Mama needs a new pair of shoes...

A dear friend of H's got married this past weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony in a soaring cathedral, with a bustling reception at a local inn. They had a dance for all the married couples - you know the one - where they ask people married 10 years or less to exit the dance floor. Then 15 years, then 20 years. The goal being to get the couple married the longest to finish out the dance by themselves on the dance floor. The winners were the grandparents of the bride: they will celebrate their 62nd wedding anniversary this January. Incredible!

It was a fine night, unusual for H and I to actually get to dress up and have a night out and not to have to keep track of a highly active three year old. You know that thing where they warn pregnant women that their feet might get bigger? I thought I was doing OK as all my casual shoes fit just fine. Dressing up for the first time in a long time meant trying on heels. (Ouch!). Looks like I"m going to be going through the closet and sorting for the donation pile. Never thought that only a certain type of shoe would be a problem. Oh well! Luckily I had some flatter sandals that fit the bill with my dress.

We returned home that evening to find the three year old still up wearing out his Gram with his antics. A fun time was had by all.

The SciFi Legacy Continues...

In 1977 my whole family took a jaunt to the local movie theater to see this little movie called Star Wars. So began my love affair with all things science fiction (and a huge crush on Harrison Ford). I began reading and watching anything and everything I could get my hands on... these ran the spectrum from watching The Twilight Zone and Star Trek, and reading any book by Harlan Ellison (I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream). Even, (I shudder now) watching Buck Rogers in the 25th Century... pickings were sometimes slim.

It tickles me that Daniel has now discovered Star Wars. I think it started with the release of the animated movie recently, but instead of jumping on that bandwagon I showed him the original Star Wars. Having my three year old run around the house talking about Artoo and Chewbacca and how he really has to find Darth Vader's helmet has brought me no end of chuckles lately. If you check out my "reading" and "watching" sidebar items, I still gravitate towards things fantastical. I wonder if Daniel will continue to take after his mother...

Smooth is Smooth Baby

Summer TV can seem like a bit of a wasteland. And not only ain't there much to escape into on the Tube, but many of my favorites (LOST, Battlestar Galactica) have vanished for awhile and have already projected their series end dates.

A glorious exception is USA network's Burn Notice. Jeffrey Donovan plays Michael Westen - a former spy, under a "burn notice" - for all intents and purposes pink slipped out of the business. Stuck in Miami with no credit, no job history and not much information to go on he spends his time helping people and chasing down who did this to him and why. Season 2 recently started, and I am thoroughly enjoying this little Thursday night jaunt into sun, sexy scenery, engaging characters and witty dialogue.

Deer, Interrupted

H loves to travel. Make that H LOVES TO TRAVEL. With company or without, near or far... it seems the gears are always turning for him about planning some sort of trip. I like to travel too - it's something we have in common. But that "gear" is not so much in the on position for me since Daniel's arrival.

Our most recent outing involved a trip to Wellsboro, PA. It's beautiful country, and a prime fishing target for people like my father and brother. My parents and brother met us out there for a little fly-fishing down-time for the guys, and lots of togetherness planned for everyone to see Daniel and all. The trip began with a bang when our car met a deer about 6 miles outside of Wellsboro. We're all OK, and that's the important thing. But my car has a damaged front driver's side grille, the left front fender clean off the car and a busted front left turn signal. A little prayer of thanks that we're all OK. But damn, this was my first rather nice car...

Daniel basked in the family time. It makes me happy that he is so excited to see my extended family since there are large gaps between visits. We ate in restaurants like the Wellsboro Diner and Timeless Destination, mostly successfully since getting Daniel to sit still is sometimes a challenge. Adjoining rooms meant extra space to roam, and while Daniel's sleep schedule was pretty much a haphazard-whenever-you-feel-like-slowing-down bedtime, it was still a fun/successful trip. And we seem to be getting back to normal routines without too many bumps.

Now, on to fixing my jeep so I can stop muttering stupid deer under my breath.

A night on the town...

As a teenager I can recall spending weekend after weekend at Pine Knob in Michigan on outings, just seeing whomever was playing at the time: Huey Lewis and the News, oohh there was that double bill of The Thompson Twins and Berlin... yep, even the Pointer Sisters! (OK, looking back I'm a little agog at that one...)

Even before the baby, and in the days of ever-climbing ticket prices, I'd gotten a lot pickier about an evening out. It just has to be someone I really want to see if I'm going to make that effort.

H decided to splurge for my (ahem) milestone birthday this year and nabbed us some tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld when he breezed through town. I didn't quite anticipate heading into Boston with the rest of the Red Sox faithful last Friday. We made it on time, but the jockeying for position at the **&^%$! tollbooths made me a little nervous. Thanks MBTA. Jerry was in fine form for a (mostly) family-friendly show. Refreshing to have an outing holding hands with my guy and not keeping one eye peeled for: Where did the 2.5 year old just go?

It must be a measure of my TV addiction however, that I kept half-expecting to see George, Elaine and Kramer pop out on stage as well...