Bouncy Balls - Always trying to escape

We're in that stage of the "threes" where Daniel is arguing with me about everything. The food list is shrinking (Hello carbs!). He's too busy to use the potty, and no he really doesn't need a nap. The one plus to the recent ice storm and the current snowy weather is that he has finally stopped resisting the idea of long pants, long sleeves, coat and occasionally boots and a hat on his body.

No amount of coaxing, cajoling, redirecting (misdirecting) or smoke signals on my part seems to move us from an impasse on the other items however.

A recent tantrum on both our parts regarding the afternoon nap found me hoisting him under the arms, hauling him into his room and settling the two of us on the rocking chair in his room that has been sitting idle for awhile. I was a little amazed as the tension seeped away, and he laid his head on my shoulder and within ten minutes was asleep. We might have stayed longer, but my arms had started to ache holding up his 30+ pounds. I rolled him and his blankie onto the bed for his afternoon nap.

I resolve to make more space for "cuddle time" in 2009 and beyond.

It's All in the Attitude

Christmas Day, Daniel has just played the animatronic dancing bear, and dancing penguins for the umpteenth time while ping-ponging around the room in harmony with the music. His big cousin Robert managed to turn down the volume on the creatures in between songs.

Daniel, having noticed asked Robert to turn it up. After which we got this exchange:


Robert: Oh, I don't know how.

Daddy: Poor Daniel...

Daniel: No, I'm not! I'm happy!

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Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

Push Me, Pull You

Meals are something of a loosey-goosey affair around our house. H works very hard for long hours, meaning he is out a good portion of the time. All the physicality his job entails also means that when he gets home he is hungry. For me, left to my own devices I tend to subscribe to the eat when you're hungry, stop when you're not routine - one not governed so much by the clock.

Enter the three year old. The three year old who is currently surviving on crackers. He's steadily shrinking his list of acceptable foods, and it's driving me a bit battier than I already am to begin with. Days often start with a request for warm juice (not sure where the warm trend started for him, blech, but I'll run with it). Then it's a request for crackers. How about some peanut butter on those? Nope, just crackers. Crackers and cheese? Oh, Okay. Only to have me discover a plate full of cracker crumbs and a mound of cheese not long after.

I recently nixed a breakfast request for marshmallows.

And oh, the wailing and screeching at not getting his way! Well then, I'm not hungry and he marches away from the table.

And we all stage a repeat of this scene, center stage, at the next mealtime.

This tug-of-war is getting to me. Thank goodness for Flintstone's chewables!

Well, this has been fun...

H woke me around 4:30am last Friday to let me know that our power was out. Really out - as was the rest of the area. To further add to the complications he had left his car at the mechanic the night before to have it looked at... If he went to work I was facing no electricity (no heat, no cooking) and with no way to leave, having no car. With a three year old.

Needless to say, H called in to work and we drove out to find a town with power to grab something to eat. Stopped at Gram's to meet her new kitties, and headed back home. Rather disheartening to have the power still out when we arrived. You know those shows like Survivorman? Adventure expert gets dropped into the wilds with a Swiss Army Knife and is expected to make it out alive? I would so be toast.

The three of us were cuddled under a mound of blankets on the sofa, candles lit, listening to Christmas music on a battery-powered radio and musing about our limited dinner options when poof! Power back on. It had been a total of 12/13 hours for us. I'm very aware that we were pretty lucky and many people went much longer with no power. I'm saying many small prayers about the approaching snowstorm.

Following our no-electricity adventure very closely was my developing a rather nasty sinus infection. Antibiotics seem to be kicking in, and this is the first day that I feel like my head isn't going to come rolling off my shoulders anytime I bend over to do something. I have started to realize that there is a lot of bending involved in the daily life of chasing a three year old around.
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Stay tuned over at Relishing the Dirt for a giveaway!

Rewards

There are days where I'm still looking for the instruction manual for this Mom Gig. I mean, as soon as you start to feel you have it figured out, it changes up on you. First it's the sleep deprivation, and the breast feeding and the endless marching line of diapering while you try and figure out the wants and needs of this little being who is so totally dependent on you for everything. No sooner do you settle into a routine when...

It's walking and solid foods and talking up a storm and potty training. My formerly dependent little being has become a decidedly independent boy who has found his voice. And his opinion. On everything from what to wear and when - (He's now in his Fall coat. In December. At this rate the Winter coat should be on his body by mid-February or so...) to what to eat, and firm opinions on the decided injustice of having to take a nap when there is so much to do.

And there are the days where Mama wants a do-over and I have to remind myself that my boy is no longer just that cute, cuddly little thing that I brought home from the hospital and that maybe he is just having a do-over day too.

Then the bed time routine rolls around. These days it involves pajamas and story time with Daddy. I really don't mind, as it gives them a chance for some "boys time." He comes to say goodnight, and I get open arms and a Mwah (kiss), and an I wuv you.

I love you too, my baby boy.

Unraveling

It's finally happening. A week or so ago Daniel walked up and handed me a handful of yarn. When I asked where he'd gotten it, he gave me his impish grin - Blankie.

My Aunt Anne had made him a baby blankie, fleece, with a crocheted, sort of scalloped edge and whoosh, Daniel was in love. Blankie is our go-to-sleep item, calming-down-in-a-crisis item, snuggle on the couch, all-around cuddler. Luckily he hasn't needed to carry it everywhere a la Linus, but it has been a fixture at our house for quite some time now. If he's asleep, a corner of fringe is stuck in his mouth or the blankie is at least within arms reach.

I've been anticipating this moment, but not really sure what to do. My Aunt was kind enough to make a Blankie #2 awhile back - but with a shake of his head, Daniel dismisses it. It's not the real deal. Even today we came home from the library and he rolled onto his blankie on the floor, curling up and declaring how much he'd missed it. The look on his face when a clean, warm blankie emerges from the dryer is a thing to behold.

He couldn't have pulled this when his crafty Grandmother was in town a few weeks ago? I don't crochet. Some of the fringe is being held by safety pins at this point, while I hunt down a yarn/craft store that might point me in the direction of someone who could do some work on it. If Daniel lets it out of his hands that is. Wish us luck!

Hitting the Yellow Brick Road

We were in the mall recently, and making the rounds of our usual stores: The Disney Store, the food court to see the carousel... and stopped in the pet store to see the puppies. Daniel looked over at me and said: Grandpa has a puppy too. Grandpa has Sophie.

Yoinks.

I hmmd and agreed with him and quickly changed topics. I have yet to address the subject of loss to my three year old, and this one blindsided me a bit. Grandma and Grandpa are 1,200 miles away so it was easy to gloss over. But I can guarantee that this one is going to come around to bite me again. Anyone out there with some tried and true angles/methods/recommendations for talking to little ones about losing a pet?

Thankful Thursday

Part of living in so many places means that I have friends spread out all over the country, as well as overseas. Kim and I met in fourth grade - Mrs. Lindburgh's class, if I'm not mistaken. We went all through school together, mooning over 80s bands and listening to Duran Duran LPs in the sunroom of my house. Kim snuck me into basketball games with the band, and I dragged her into working on drama productions like Hello Dolly.

Even as I've bounced from Michigan to France to California to Massachusetts, Kim and I have kept up. Visits, phone calls, email... through six kids (yep, five of those are hers!) and countless ups and downs of life we've kept up with each other. She stood up in my wedding, and when I was trying to sleep train Daniel she was the one I called sobbing: I can't do this.

I haven't seen my friend in person in eight years. Ever have a friend that no matter how long it's been, the years just melt whenever you reach out to each other? Like you'd never been apart? Kim is one of those friends for me.

She emailed this week asking for prayers for her family. Her husband has been quite unexpectedly laid off. They have options, and they're doing OK. She is one of the most faith-full people I know. Friends are at the forefront of my thoughts of gratitude today, especially her.

Zoom Zoom

Drove my parents to Logan airport today. Daniel was a trooper in the car.

I've lived for many years in a separate state from my parents and brother. For the most part I do OK with it. We talk on the phone a lot, visit as often as we are able and last year even acquired a web cam to do some video calls (ain't technology wonderful?).

The hardest part was/is always the parting company at the end of a visit, whether it is us in Wisconsin, or the folks out here. And it's magnified a bit with Daniel thrown into the mix. We were climbing the stairs back at home when he asked: Where's Grandma? I imagine it will be tomorrow before it really sinks in that they've gone back to their home.

The speedy trips to the airport can actually make it a little easier on all of us to leave, as it is a screech to the curb, dump the bags as fast as possible, kisses and hugs all around and peeling out again to not block traffic. It will probably be tomorrow before their absence sinks in for me as well.

refreshing

Grandma and Grandpa are still in town, but are winding up their visit. It's just after our 8th anniversary, and so H and I took advantage of the babysitting to use a positively ancient gift certificate that I had to a very nice restaurant.

I love my little guy more than anything, and of course he was a big topic of conversation. But it is such a gear switch to have a leisurely meal with attentive waiters. Conversation without having to ask the three year old to get back into his chair or to stop mashing his potatoes between his fingers. And to take a browse through the local Borders bookstore - not to buy anything, just to look - without the constant refrain of "Where's Daniel?" pitter-pattering through my brain.

Wasn't there an old slogan - The pause that refreshes - for Coca Cola or something?

Tonight was a refreshing Mommy and Daddy pause. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!

Right place, Right time

Growing up in the Midwest, lobster was always a real treat for our family. Several times I've had some packed to take with us when we visit Wisconsin. A visit from my parents often prompts a little look-around to see if there are any good deals out there. The local Stop and Shop got rid of their tank awhile back. The usual spot that H had picked out a lobster or two from was a Shaw's. After some shopping and driving, we were mightily disappointed to be greeted at Shaw's by an empty tank.

I started calling around, discovering that a local Hannaford's carried lobster - and so we headed in that direction. Mom chatted with the elderly gentleman in front of us about the best way to cook lobster. He handed the deli-guy a slip which I took to be some sort of rain check for his lobster. Dad took his place in line and requested four of the beasts from the large tub that had just been brought out for transfer to the tank. We continued with our shopping, and headed home.

Dad remarked on the way up to our place that the price seemed really reasonable for four lobsters and a few other assorted items. Upon closer inspection, we discovered that we had been given the elderly gentleman's "rain check" price of $4.99 a pound!

Sometimes the deals just find you!

I am off to take my butter/lobster-soaked self to bed.

Basking in the Balance

Days of butting heads, screaming tantrums, preschooler fish-flopping on the floor in frustration... me firmly securing my place in the boy's eyes as "Chief Squasher of Dreams."

Daniel: I want marshmallows for breakfast!

Me: No.

A visit from Grandma and Grandpa affords some much-needed breathing space. Daniel scooted me out of his room this afternoon because he and Grandma were reading a book. I happily went off to read a magazine.

And I quite enjoyed H's report of a smile on our little guy's face as he slept late last night. Sweet dreams my little one.

Thankful Thursday

Even though we currently do not have any pets, I have found myself thinking of past furry friends today. My parents are in town from Wisconsin for a long-weekend visit. It's a happy time, touched by the sad news that their German Shorthaired Pointer Sophie passed away just yesterday, apparently in her sleep.

Sophie started life as a bit of a mischief hound. Tales of the pup who was eating all the Handi-wipes out of the kitchen, and running out with a knife clamped between her jaws started filtering back to me from my parents home in Iowa. She was boisterous and headstrong and excitable - and an adorable thing. She went off to doggie boot camp, learned her manners (mostly) and became a working hunting dog accompanying my father on many an outing.

She had slowed some in recent years, but was never happier than seeing Dad pull out his hunting gear and knowing an excursion was in store. Or getting to ride in the tiny back of Dad's "cool car" green MG with the top down. And as bullish as she could sometimes still be, Sophie was gentle as anything with Daniel. A favorite spot was parking under the kitchen table in hopes of any dropped cheerios.

Goodbye "Ga-Ga" from all of us.

So tonight I'm thankful for God's many creatures. If you have a furry friend in your life, give them an extra squeeze and a pat from me today.

Bunny Hell

Our cable has been out for the past few days. Only on one of the two TVs, but it means there is NO WAY OUT. My Spiderman-obsessed, GI-Joe, Incredible Hulk, Darth Vader superhero action figure kid has discovered the bunnies Max and Ruby.

And Mommy has discovered what must be one of the newer circles of hell. It's an adorable cartoon, but we're on the eleventy-billionth viewing. Cable guy comes tomorrow, and we are high-tailing this one back to the library ASAP. Luckily bedtime went down without a hitch and I've gotten in some computer/quiet non-"Max and Ruvee" time this evening. Sanity to resume tomorrow.

Tired

A three year old boy and a Mommy with PMS makes for a twosome with short fuses today. This whole daylight savings time thing has messed the boy up a bit. We've been up at 6am every day, and absolutely positively refusing to take an afternoon nap. (Even though he could really use it. Come to think of it, so could I!)

It took me half an hour to get out of the house to vote this morning. Socks, shoes, whups not those socks, well OK those socks, THOSE shoes? On the plus side we could walk right in to the elementary school/polling place, and I was outta there in minutes. Waiting in line for any amount of time was SO not going to happen with the three year old in tow.

The school was running a bake sale, so Daniel scored a cookie out of the deal and we traveled on to a local park as it was a gorgeous day. Tearing around outside is always good for expending that preschooler energy. It's the arguing over every. single. thing once we step inside the front door that is wearing me into the ground today. I'm off for PJs and a drink of something warm and soothing. And bed before too long. New days in many ways tomorrow.

Mmmm... Chocolate

We're finally seeing some relief at the gas pumps. (I saw gas for $2.39 at one stop in town!!!) Grocery prices are still a pinch, as they are for so many people. There are some very talented ladies out there blogging about how to save on your grocery budget. Some current favorites are $5 Dinners and Money Saving Mom.

I'm cooking challenged, even without a picky preschooler. It's always a struggle to balance convenience and ease with creative cooking with fresh ingredients. Daniel is big on chocolate milk, and rather than replenish our supply of store-bought powder I remembered writing down this recipe for some make-your-own syrup/sauce. I ought to be chocolated out, this close to Halloween and all, but this sounded pretty good and certainly fits the "easy" requirement I have of recipes.

1/2 cup cocoa
1 cup water
2 cups sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. vanilla

Mix cocoa and water in saucepan. Heat and stir until dissolved. Add sugar and stir to dissolve. Boil exactly three minutes. Remove from burner. Add salt and vanilla. Keep in refrigerator.

I'll amend this post as soon as I can with the source citation, as well as a "taste test" report!

Nocturnal

When Daniel was tiny we fought the battles that many new parents fight regarding sleep. He wouldn't sleep except on one of us, then he wouldn't sleep unless he was in the swing. We tumbled backwards into co-sleeping for awhile, as it smoothed out some of the night-time routines with feedings and such.

Eventually, and with many tears, he was sleeping in his own crib in his own room. Our compromise being that one of us usually laid down with him until he was "out." If we tried the bedtime routine, and simply leaving he cried. Endlessly. If one of us laid down with him we could sometimes be out of there in 15 minutes with a minimum of fuss. Seemed like a fair trade off to me! Then, a few months ago, Daniel suddenly asked for lights out and asked us to leave. I guess we'd been dong this wrong, silly me!

Recently we've been getting night-time visits, however. It feels a bit like backsliding, but I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it and hoping it will pass. The funny thing is, as an infant Daniel woke up loud. We always heard babbling coming from his room well before he was really ready to be up. Now I roll over in the middle of the night only to discover my three year old curled up on the foot of the bed asleep. And I have no idea how long he's been there!

My Trooper

We've dressed Daniel up for Halloween before, but this was the first year that he "got" the whole trick or treat thing. Our usual Friday storytime at the library consisted of a trek down the street to the local town hall for some office trick or treating, a stop at the senior center, and a Halloween story once we got back to the library.

In the afternoon we hooked up with his buddy Marisa, and Alexis and we all trooped through the local mall for some additional treats. The Star Wars obsession continues, as he came to an immediate halt and stared when a Darth Vader passed us. That little boy got into the spirit when he turned to Daniel and said: "You're on MY side!" And Daniel is still talking about the two other stormtroopers we saw. (Well, and the Hulk, and Wonder Woman, and "the scary guy!") It was a bit of a zoo, but all in all a good trick or treating alternative. Otherwise we get zero kids coming by, or opportunities to go out as we live in a condo... My brother told me about an interesting variation. He said that where he lives they have "trunk or treating" - people park around a local church parking lot and have candy in the trunks of their cars.

The funny thing is - for a kid who loves his treats, he has eaten surprisingly little. There is a lot of "sorting" going on. My little pirate with his loot! It makes it a little harder to explain some "disappearances" though!

Stages

Okay, somehow, somewhere, somebody switched my sweet baby for a pod-person. It has been two days of: What is up with you? Then, I remember. I have a preschooler.

My local family network, a lifeline as I began this stay-at-home mom gig, recently held a parenting workshop titled: Why does my preschooler act this way? Do I need to mention that it was a pretty full house? One of the fliers cited a study which said that most 2, 3, and 4 year olds:

Pay no attention to what they are asked to do.

Say "no": refuse to do what is expected.

Are pokey: time wasting dressing and washing.

Leave tasks undone. They start, but don't finish.

Wriggle around. Don't sit still.

Laugh, squeal, jump around much of the time.

Refuse to share with other children.

Grab toys, shove, hit and attack others.

Ask for unnecessary help.

Cry easily, sulk.

Pick their nose.

Stay close to adults.

Seek attention by showing off.
Go to adults with criticisms of others.

Boss others.

Stay awake at naptime.

Refuse food.

Speak indisctinctly.

Are hard to reason with.

One-third to one-half:

Grumble and whine.

Chew objects, twist hair and suck their thumb.

Are shy and fear strangers.

Won't play with other children.

Are jealous.

More than one-fourth:

Bite nails, twitch, handle genitals.

Break toys, tear books and mark walls.

Have temper tantrums.

Wet self during the day.

Fear animals and loud noises.

Secretly take things that belong to others.

Of course, none of the 555 children did any of these things all of the time. But, all of the children did some of these things some of the time. Large percentages did some of them almost daily.

credit to: Exit., Agricultural & Home economics, University of Wisconsin.

Parents at the workshop were able to share tips and tricks that had worked for their families. In a big way it's simply reassuring to be able to think: It's not just me. The mom of a younger child recently asked me about things getting easier now that Daniel is 3 years old. I replied along the lines of: It's a new challenge every day.

Phew

Where to start? Serial illnesses, two colds (and counting) for me, one just starting for Daniel. H is running for cover.

Both cars came down with the same problem two weeks apart. After much expensive repair we seem to be back on the road. (On the plus side, if I had to break down, the car picked a perfect spot: in front of our mailbox. I called AAA, handed the tow truck driver the keys, popped Daniel out of his car seat and we walked home. The car went across the street and four doors down to my mechanic. Probably used up .008 of my allowable towing miles.) And in other car news H spent yesterday getting lost in Boston trying to get to court to fight a ticket. Success in the end, but I think they make it as difficult as possible hoping that you just won't bother.

Somewhere in the midst of this I found myself over at Blogher Boston, meeting and getting energized by some of the great people that can be found in the blogosphere. If you've never stopped by, you should check it out for some lively discussion. Stop by Relishing the Dirt to hear about my venture into candy-making, and see if you can help me with a sticky problem.