Things were a whirl yesterday. Like so many, September 11th gives me pause. A flashbulb moment, we all have recollections of what we were doing that day.I was an executive assistant at a B2B publishing company outside of Boston. My early-bird routine had become established once I had married in 2000 and moved westerly. Getting on the road early eased my commute, gave me some time in the office without distraction and enabled me to get a bit of a jump on my demanding boss. Thus I was already at work as events began to unfold. Time has blurred things just a bit, and I don't recall the first indications of something wrong. I remember hopping on the Internet, moving from news site to news site trying to get updates. Staying on the line with the terrified wife of one of our sales reps - she knew her husband was traveling that day, but did not know his itinerary. The relief as we tracked him down. The hush in the office. Thinking of colleagues in New York. Someone had pulled a TV into the atrium so that anyone who stopped in could keep up with any televised news. The shock of realizing that two gentlemen who had dinner with my boss the evening before had lost their lives on Flight 11.
I struggle to find a balance. I have many moments where I want to go on a "media diet" of sorts. Forgo any news of the economy, of 9/11, of the thefts and murders and horrible things that go on in the world. Balance. To never forget, and yet to not have the awfulness that is out there pull me down like quicksand.
It is eight years later, and my world is different in so many ways. I am a stay at home Mom of a beautiful little boy. And this year on September 11th he ventured out to his first day of preschool. I choose to look at the world with the same hope and excitement I saw on my little boy's face yesterday.
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A neighbor girl came over Friday morning to tell us we had to turn on the TV because something had "happened" and we had to put our flag out if we had one. Panic gripped my heart, but it was just the news channel going to correspondants who were working when 9/11 happened reliving those events. Our young neighbor wasn't even born when it happened and didn't understand, her mama unable to tell her because it still makes her cry. I found myself in the same predicament when my children asked me why it was so important for us to remember. Those the only flag we had at our fingertips was an antique one with only 48 stars, I still put it in the window. I shall go out and get a new one today.
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