Monday, June 04, 2007

My New Merit Badge

(Deep breath). Hi! My name is Susan, and I am a worrier.

(Hi Susan!)

Yes, I admit it. A worrier. I've earned my merit badge in worry many times over. It seems to be hardwired, however as I can recall childhood worries as varied as:

Do those dark clouds on the horizon mean another tornado warning?

Is Mom lost? We've driven by this store before...

What do I wear to school tomorrow? And is there any possible way to get myself out of gym class again?

Flash forward into adulthood, and the worries are still there. From paying the bills to the war in Iraq to is my child still breathing once I put him to sleep at night... I try hard not to be consumed.

One of the blessings of children is their ability to be in the moment. Glee or tears are both ripe fruit for the picking... savoring a banana, dancing to Elmo, and screaming in frustration as Mom tries to brush your teeth all carry equal weight. I try to borrow these tidbits from my son's life. To be a more "in the moment Mom" and less "worry Mom". To enjoy the sticky fingers and squishy mud puddles because the laundry will always be there later... these are the memories I want for Daniel as he grows up.


Paulette said...

Hi Susan! I need one of those badges too...I'm such a worry wart that it's almost a sickness sometimes. Your worries sound so much like mine...and I could add so many more, but in light of trying to be better about the whole worrying thing, I won't.

I try so hard to do more living in the little boy does it so very well. And I can do it for very short segments of time, but all too soon I find myself becoming "worry Mom" again. LOL!

My art is the one place I've found that I can live totally in the moment and completely loose myself in what I'm doing...without that, I don't think I'd quite as sane. ;) We all need to have some time to live in the moment each day...I've found it makes me a much better Momma and person. Without it...I can get kinda cranky. ;)

Pattie Mosca said...

Worry changes nothing...Happiness changes everything!! The moment is now to make sure happiness...SMILE! It all works out...