befuddled...

We have been doing a library story time on Fridays. I was a bit nervous at first, as my little guy is not one of those kids known for sitting still. But we've been trucking along steadily - it's a story, and the kids do a little craft related to the story of the day and they come out with their craft and a treat. He has a few friends that go, and there are Moms I like and can chat with and hang out with... We've signed up and done several sessions now.

So I was a bit befuddled last Friday when the childrens' librarian stopped to talk to me, and to his friend Marisa's Mom about their behavior during the story time. Short version is that Daniel won't leave Marisa alone, and eventually she starts to squirm and act out in response. As we don't do daycare or preschool, it's my first real experience getting a "report card" of sorts on my kid, and so I was feeling a bit unsure how to react. Everything has happened very nicely and with utmost consideration, don't get me wrong. Last Friday the librarian had Daniel come up to be her "page turner" during story time - separating him from his problem behavior, without making it really a negative event. I think the thing that has me scratching my head is that they say this has been going on for awhile, and I guess I would have hoped to hear about it sooner.

So I had a talk with Daniel on Friday. He kept insisting that he needed to tell Marisa something when I talked about sitting and listening to the story like the other kids. I plan to have another talk with him next Friday before story time. I may sit in to see what is going on, and if necessary remove him I suppose. I'm trying to keep to logical consequences, if he can't behave then he will either not come to story time at all, or he will have to come to a separate one from his friends. I'm struggling with how to direct my spirited kid...

Playgroup a Go-Go

Sigh. I don't know what it is. Sometimes I think I must have lost my Mom's Club ID. I mean, I've got the kid and everything, but I was sent home from the hospital without the secret handshake or something. Why is it so hard to meet other Moms?

I've gone from a job I had for nearly 10 years of my life, to the life of a SAHM in The Kingdom of the Toddler. It's a life that has its joys, don't get me wrong. But I KNOW there are other people living here, and I'll be darned if I can find them some days.

We've been bouncing between two playgroups. Playgroup A: smaller, great leaders, am finally starting to feel recognized, like I belong and likewise for Daniel. We are recognizing in turn other Moms and kids, conversations are starting to feel more natural... things are just sort of progressing nicely where I can feel some relationships starting to widen and expand a little. It feels good. Since they have been between sessions, they are operating on "drop-in" time - which means plenty of opportunities to visit. We are about to swing into a regular session, which will limit available time outside of your "scheduled" playgroup.

We keep trying Playgroup B: larger space, more kids of a wider age range, loads of stuff to do. The most I can seem to bring myself to say is: The leader is nice. Daniel had fun. And I always leave there mildly discouraged. For such a larger group, you'd think there would be at least a Mom or two a bit more welcoming. Instead I feel in sort of a clique-y junior high, where Moms are in various states of watching and not watching their kids. This includes the charmer who was taking big mouthfuls of the rice that was in the sensory table for the kids to play in, while Mom was busy chatting about her shopping elsewhere.

H thinks I need to cut my losses and start looking elsewhere. I think I agree, but this is hard.