Stages

Okay, somehow, somewhere, somebody switched my sweet baby for a pod-person. It has been two days of: What is up with you? Then, I remember. I have a preschooler.

My local family network, a lifeline as I began this stay-at-home mom gig, recently held a parenting workshop titled: Why does my preschooler act this way? Do I need to mention that it was a pretty full house? One of the fliers cited a study which said that most 2, 3, and 4 year olds:

Pay no attention to what they are asked to do.

Say "no": refuse to do what is expected.

Are pokey: time wasting dressing and washing.

Leave tasks undone. They start, but don't finish.

Wriggle around. Don't sit still.

Laugh, squeal, jump around much of the time.

Refuse to share with other children.

Grab toys, shove, hit and attack others.

Ask for unnecessary help.

Cry easily, sulk.

Pick their nose.

Stay close to adults.

Seek attention by showing off.
Go to adults with criticisms of others.

Boss others.

Stay awake at naptime.

Refuse food.

Speak indisctinctly.

Are hard to reason with.

One-third to one-half:

Grumble and whine.

Chew objects, twist hair and suck their thumb.

Are shy and fear strangers.

Won't play with other children.

Are jealous.

More than one-fourth:

Bite nails, twitch, handle genitals.

Break toys, tear books and mark walls.

Have temper tantrums.

Wet self during the day.

Fear animals and loud noises.

Secretly take things that belong to others.

Of course, none of the 555 children did any of these things all of the time. But, all of the children did some of these things some of the time. Large percentages did some of them almost daily.

credit to: Exit., Agricultural & Home economics, University of Wisconsin.

Parents at the workshop were able to share tips and tricks that had worked for their families. In a big way it's simply reassuring to be able to think: It's not just me. The mom of a younger child recently asked me about things getting easier now that Daniel is 3 years old. I replied along the lines of: It's a new challenge every day.

Phew

Where to start? Serial illnesses, two colds (and counting) for me, one just starting for Daniel. H is running for cover.

Both cars came down with the same problem two weeks apart. After much expensive repair we seem to be back on the road. (On the plus side, if I had to break down, the car picked a perfect spot: in front of our mailbox. I called AAA, handed the tow truck driver the keys, popped Daniel out of his car seat and we walked home. The car went across the street and four doors down to my mechanic. Probably used up .008 of my allowable towing miles.) And in other car news H spent yesterday getting lost in Boston trying to get to court to fight a ticket. Success in the end, but I think they make it as difficult as possible hoping that you just won't bother.

Somewhere in the midst of this I found myself over at Blogher Boston, meeting and getting energized by some of the great people that can be found in the blogosphere. If you've never stopped by, you should check it out for some lively discussion. Stop by Relishing the Dirt to hear about my venture into candy-making, and see if you can help me with a sticky problem.

Mama needs a new pair of shoes...

A dear friend of H's got married this past weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony in a soaring cathedral, with a bustling reception at a local inn. They had a dance for all the married couples - you know the one - where they ask people married 10 years or less to exit the dance floor. Then 15 years, then 20 years. The goal being to get the couple married the longest to finish out the dance by themselves on the dance floor. The winners were the grandparents of the bride: they will celebrate their 62nd wedding anniversary this January. Incredible!

It was a fine night, unusual for H and I to actually get to dress up and have a night out and not to have to keep track of a highly active three year old. You know that thing where they warn pregnant women that their feet might get bigger? I thought I was doing OK as all my casual shoes fit just fine. Dressing up for the first time in a long time meant trying on heels. (Ouch!). Looks like I"m going to be going through the closet and sorting for the donation pile. Never thought that only a certain type of shoe would be a problem. Oh well! Luckily I had some flatter sandals that fit the bill with my dress.

We returned home that evening to find the three year old still up wearing out his Gram with his antics. A fun time was had by all.

Gremlins

We've finally been making strides with the potty training around our house.

Peeing on the potty. Check.
Pooping on the potty? Go away Mommy (while hiding out in his bedroom).



The thing is: all these behaviours are totally my idea.

Hey Daniel! It's time to use the potty!
OK!

But if Mommy shuts up about the subject he will happily pee in a Pull-up any time of the day or night. Any ideas as to how to transition to that "Tell me when you gotta go, OK?" stage?

My favorite was last week when the "potty gremlins" mixed it up with the "I don't want to go to bed gremlins," and he figured out that "using" the potty meant he didn't have to go to bed just then. I don't want to discourage any thoughts of using the potty, but that was just fooling around.